In 1992, many farmers in Jalikistan began using a hormone designed to produce larger cows that would produce more milk. Since then, childhood obesity in Jalikistan has grown by 200 percent. The amount of milk and dairy consumed by children in this area has not increased or decreased. Children in the same area who are lactose intolerant, and who drink almond milk or soy milk, have not had the same increase in childhood obesity. The only clear explanation is that the introduction of the hormone is responsible for the increase in childhood obesity in that area.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more viable alternatives to the proposed explanation. Justify, with support, why the alternatives could rival the proposed explanation and explain how those explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
Childhood obesity is on rise in society today, but weather it is because of a change of hormones in cows is debatable. In the argument that a new hormone is the reason for the 200 percent rise in childhood obesity, the author concludes that the new hormone introduced in Jalikistan to the cows is the cause in new found childhood obesity. The author bases this on the childhood 200 percent increase in obesity during the same time the new hormone was injected into the cows. Due to unsupported evidence, the argument is not conclusive.
A viable alternative to the explanation is if the cows were doing anything at all different from what they normally do. The author failed to consider if there was something else mixed into the cows daily activities that had changed. additional evidence about what else the cows activities is needed. If the cows are use to grazing all day, and since the hormones were introduced they are not be able to do that, this could offer conflicting support and be the reason obesity is increasing.
It is implied that the children's daily activities have not changed during this time. The author failed to consider if before the hormones were given to the cows that is was summer in Jalikstan and children were playing outside, getting regular physical excersie. Additional specifics about the children's level of activity before and after the hormones were given is needed. If winter approached as the milk changed, and children stayed inside more, then this could rival the argument.
Without alternative explaniations the authors argument is not persuasive. Other factors could be the reason as to why the obesity in children rose 200 percent during the change in milk.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
If the cows are use to grazing all day
If the cows are used to grazing all day
Sentence: The author failed to consider if before the hormones were given to the cows that is was summer in Jalikstan and children were playing outside, getting regular physical excersie.
Error: excersie Suggestion: excessive
Sentence: Without alternative explaniations the authors argument is not persuasive.
Error: explaniations Suggestion: explanations
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
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flaws:
more arguments wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 287 350
No. of Characters: 1390 1500
No. of Different Words: 131 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.116 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.843 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.077 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.792 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.371 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.602 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 234, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Additional
...cows daily activities that had changed. additional evidence about what else the cows activ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 317, Rule ID: BE_USE_TO_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...s activities is needed. If the cows are use to grazing all day, and since the hormo...
^^^
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...e hormones were introduced they are not be able to do that, this could offer confl...
^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: VBZ_VBD[1]
Message: Did you mean 'it'?
Suggestion: it
...he hormones were given to the cows that is was summer in Jalikstan and children we...
^^
Line 5, column 170, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...hormones were given to the cows that is was summer in Jalikstan and children were p...
^^^
Line 7, column 39, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... Without alternative explaniations the authors argument is not persuasive. Other facto...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, so, then, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1426.0 2260.96107784 63% => OK
No of words: 287.0 441.139720559 65% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96864111498 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11595363751 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61383500785 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 204.123752495 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.470383275261 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 458.1 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0447056845 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.857142857 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.71428571429 5.70786347227 30% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.228643468107 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.076849523289 0.0743258471296 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0577649860357 0.0701772020484 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135914797055 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0364358578019 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 98.500998004 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.