32 The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing."During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter th

Essay topics:

32 The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.

"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."

The vice president asserts that by reducing work time by one hour, the number of on-the-job accidents would decrease correspondingly for the reasons that the nearby Panoply Industries have lower on-the-job accidents and one hour shorter work time, and the experts think fatigue is a major factor causes the accidents. Although the argument seems plausible, a close scrutiny reveals its untenability.

At the first place, comparing the number of on-the-job accidents of two places is unreasonable. The author overlooks a strong possibility that there may be much more workers in Quiot Manufacturing than Panoply Industries so that Quiot more on-the-job accidents of Quiot Manufacturing is normal. Perhaps the work in Quiot Manufacturing is more dangerous than work in Panoply Industries, thus workers in Quiot Manufacturing have larger possibilites get hurt. Furthermore, the author neglects whether Panoply Industries have better safe training and alarm system. Maybe the workers in Panoply Industries have safe consciousness. Without ruling out these possible causes, the author cannot assert less work time is the only reason of less on-the-job accidents in Panoply Industries.

Second, the arguer mistakenly equals the less work time to more sleep hours of employees. Assume the employees have one hour shorter work shifts, it does not mean employees would sleep for one more hour. Perhaps employees would use this one hour to entertain or have a party, which cause them more tiring and fatigue in work and increase the on-the-job accidents.

Finally, the vice president mistakenly relates the cause of fatigue and sleep deprevation to longer work shifts. Tireness and fatigue of employees may due to various reasons. Maybe many employees are required to get some certification thus they have to study late every night. Or perhaps the breaks is too short in industries so that workers cannot get enough rest. Or perhaps the work in Quiot Manufacturing forces workers to concentrate for too long. Only finding out the reasons of fatigue and sleep deprivation, can the vice president know how to make policy to prevent more accidents.

In conclusion, the vice president fails to prove that reduce work shifts by one hour can prevent more accidents from happening. The argument would have been better substantiated had there been more evidence about why Panoply Industries have less on-the-job accidents as well as why workers would feel tiring and fatigue in work.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Sentence: Finally, the vice president mistakenly relates the cause of fatigue and sleep deprevation to longer work shifts.
Error: deprevation Suggestion: deprivation

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 2041 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.247 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.749 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.428 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5