4. The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants."Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little

Customers visiting Happy Pancake House restaurants might be indifferent to the use of butter or margarine in the cakes. However, the above assumptions has many lop holes and flaws in their context.

The business manager states that the replaced of butter by margarine has little impacted its customers. It further claims that only 2% of the customers have complained. However, the business manager fails to take into account whether the recipe for preparing the pancakes has undergone any other change except for the replacement of margarine. For examnple, new flavours could have been introduced in the restaurants which compensated for the flavour imparted by butter. Also, people might not be satisfied with the claim but didnot take the initiative to complain against the change.

According to the report given by the servers of the restaurant, a number of customers who ask for butter did not complain when they were given margarine instead of butter. It might be possible that the servers asked only a few people out of the bunch. Also, during peak hours, due to over crowding, it would not have been possible for the servers to ask each and every customer whether they appreciated the change.

The business manager at the start mentioned that butter has been replaced by margarine in all its restaurant. But he in the rest of the memorandum has nowhere mentioned that the report was collective of all the restaurants. Meaning that it could have been a report submitted by single restaurant or only a hand few. There is a possibility that the other un mentioned restaurants faced a drop in number of customers after the change.

Also, the business manager never mentioned the area in which the restaurants are situated. There is a high possibility that Happy Pancake House restaurant might be the only eatery in the area. So customers might not be left with any choice but to continue flooding the restaurant. It might have no connection with the customer's sense of differentiation between butter and margarine.

The above claim could have been stronger if more evidence would have been stated. A strong survey where the customers would have written that they were indifferent to the use of margarine would have made it more reliable.

Votes
Average: 4 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Sentence: For examnple, new flavours could have been introduced in the restaurants which compensated for the flavour imparted by butter.
Error: examnple Suggestion: example

Sentence: There is a possibility that the other un mentioned restaurants faced a drop in number of customers after the change.
Error: un Suggestion: No alternate word

argument 1 -- NOT OK. Don't refer something new

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- Not OK

argument 4 -- Not OK. Don't guess.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1834 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.917 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.636 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.983 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5