The computerized on-board warning system that will be installed in commercial airlinerswill virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. One plane’s warning system canreceive signals from another’s transponder—a radio set that signals a p

Essay topics:

The computerized on-board warning system that will be installed in commercial airliners
will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. One plane’s warning system can
receive signals from another’s transponder—a radio set that signals a plane’s course—in order
to determine the likelihood of a collision and recommend evasive action.

The argument is stating that the computerized on-board warning system will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collision. It further states that plane's warning system can receive signals from another plane's transponder and in the likelihood of a collision the system can recommend evasive actions and the pilot will implement these evasive actions to prevent the collision. The conclusion of the author assumes that warning system will work without any error and there will be enough time to take evasive actions once the system recommends them and pilot will diligently follow the evasive actions.

First of all, computerized on-board systems can't be fully trusted. There is always room for an error as commercial airlines fly at high speed and in the atmosphere where outside pressure is very high. Because of the environmental condition, there can be malfunction and warning system might give false warning and evasive actions even when there is no likelihood of collision. In this case, pilot may take evasive action which might eventually lead to accident or pilot will become distrustful of the system and may eventually shut down the system, leading to more cases of failure of on-board systems as system won't be now present in all the commercial airliners.

Also, author is assuming that on-board system will be present and working in all the commercial airliners, which might not be the case. There are variety of commercial airliners present all around the globe and it is impossible to install this system at one go in all the airliners. There might be the case that some airliners are installed with this system and other are not, in that case there won't be proper receiving and transmitting of signals between two planes and hence an improper system which might increase probability of mid-air collisions instead of decreasing it as pilot may take false evasive actions because of faulty system.

Also, author is assuming that there will be enough time to take evasive actions once they are suggested. It might be the
case that system is only able to detect likelihood of collision once planes are very close to each other and once evasive actions are suggested, pilot won't have much time to avoid the collision. So author should also take into consideration the amount of time that is available to the pilot to take evasive actions and also are pilots trained enough to take evasive actions in the given time.

Also, there might be the case that pilots are not able to take evasive actions even having ample time. There is always room for human-error as the pilot might get nervous and take some wrong action leading to the mid-air collision. So, it cannot be concluded that this system will virtually solve the problem of midair-collision.
Hence, author has not provided enough evidence to substantiate the claim and the author leaves out several key issues making the claim dubious. Author should also consider the amount of time available to take evasive actions, whether pilots can take evasive actions in the given time, and also how much reliable the system is to make the claim more sound and persuasive.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 209, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'planes'' or 'plane's'?
Suggestion: planes'; plane's
...system can receive signals from another planes transponder and in the likelihood of a ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 45, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...t of all, computerized on-board systems cant be fully trusted. There is always room ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 284, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... system at one go in all the airliners. There might be the case that some airlin...
^^
Line 5, column 583, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'pilots'?
Suggestion: pilots
... collisions instead of decreasing it as pilot may take false evasive actions because ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 121, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...once they are suggested. It might be the case that system is only able to detect ...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, may, so, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.9520958084 208% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2630.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 522.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03831417625 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77988695657 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50898475032 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.390804597701 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 846.9 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.3515128981 57.8364921388 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.111111111 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0 23.324526521 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.27777777778 5.70786347227 40% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26892751409 0.218282227539 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121244122753 0.0743258471296 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.109906227156 0.0701772020484 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147893290649 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.11742611228 0.0628817314937 187% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.3799401198 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.