Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall stu

Essay topics:

Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The given passage concerns the problem of possible inflated grades in Omega University, because of the system, which evaluate teachers by students. As a result, potential employers are reluctant to hire graduated students from Omega University, anticipating that achievements of students from Omega are over-inflated. Probaly, it might be easily true that the author of text made the right conclusion and the main point of problem is the evaluation system, however, the passage lacks additional evidence that could strengthen the argumentation. Hence, in order to be sure that the evaluation system creates troubles for graduated students, the argumentation should be supported by specific evidence.

Perhpas, the firth point of the argumentation that should be scrutinized is that higher grades resulted from the new evaluation system. Probably, the administration of Omega University implemented a new system of requirements for applying students, which are much more strict and difficult to match. For example, the SAT score requirements became much higher, and it forced average students apply for other universities, while Omega got more talanted students. Hence, the specific evidence should be provided that the applying requriments remained the same. Otherwise, this flaw in the text may undermine the logic of argumentation.

The next thing that sould be discussed is that a competitive race between graduated students from Omega and Alpha. Perhaps, the evaluation system does not create the described problem, and Omega students less likely to find a job, becuase of the different reason. Probably, Alpha teaches such majors that are highly demanded on labor market. For example, Alpha is the university that graduate IT workers, then Omega graduate mostly economists and lawyer. So, this point should be investigated properly. Otherwise, the passage argumentation risks to be undermined.

The most serious question of the passage is the described time span. It says that 15 year ago the system of evaluation was implemented, but, it does not state when students began to have problems in applying for new jobs. Perhpas, such problem emerged two years ago, and there is no any connection between the system and graduated students' troubles. Consequently, the pointed moment should be supported by evidence that during the whole period the problem existed. Otherwise, it will seriously weaken the argument.

To sum up, the given passage tries to investigate the problem of graduated students, and the author of the text made the consclusion that evaluation system is the main point. However, it lacks additional evidence that clafiry and strengthen the argumentation.

Votes
Average: 5.7 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The given passage concerns the problem o...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 542, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'risks being'.
Suggestion: risks being
...y. Otherwise, the passage argumentation risks to be undermined. The most serious quest...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... argumentation risks to be undermined. The most serious question of the passage...
^^^^
Line 7, column 282, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...lem emerged two years ago, and there is no any connection between the system and g...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'consequently', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'then', 'while', 'for example', 'as a result', 'to sum up']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.278372591006 0.25644967241 109% => OK
Verbs: 0.147751605996 0.15541462614 95% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0920770877944 0.0836205057962 110% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0492505353319 0.0520304965353 95% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0128479657388 0.0272364105082 47% => OK
Prepositions: 0.104925053533 0.125424944231 84% => OK
Participles: 0.0321199143469 0.0416121511921 77% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.95988976571 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Infinitives: 0.017130620985 0.026700313972 64% => OK
Particles: 0.00214132762313 0.001811407834 118% => OK
Determiners: 0.109207708779 0.113004496875 97% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0192719486081 0.0255425247493 75% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.017130620985 0.0127820249294 134% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2700.0 2731.13054187 99% => OK
No of words: 411.0 446.07635468 92% => OK
Chars per words: 6.56934306569 6.12365571057 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.57801047555 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.428223844282 0.378187486979 113% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.345498783455 0.287650121315 120% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.274939172749 0.208842608468 132% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.172749391727 0.135150697306 128% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95988976571 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 207.018472906 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481751824818 0.469332199767 103% => OK
Word variations: 52.5508890369 52.1807786196 101% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.039408867 110% => OK
Sentence length: 18.6818181818 23.2022227129 81% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1642101364 57.7814097925 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.727272727 141.986410481 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6818181818 23.2022227129 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.545454545455 0.724660767414 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 3.58251231527 112% => OK
Readability: 53.2316965273 51.9672348444 102% => OK
Elegance: 1.97959183673 1.8405768891 108% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.305655820763 0.441005458295 69% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0979636265566 0.135418324435 72% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0793876035595 0.0829849096947 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.528547915832 0.58762219726 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.146116184474 0.147661913831 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127953404736 0.193483328276 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0592150845165 0.0970749176394 61% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.541931965757 0.42659136922 127% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0714573232759 0.0774707102158 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234698054358 0.312017818177 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.022672003136 0.0698173142475 32% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.33743842365 48% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.87684729064 204% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 4.0 6.46551724138 62% => OK
Negative topic words: 11.0 5.36822660099 205% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: Perhpas, the firth point of the argumentation that should be scrutinized is that higher grades resulted from the new evaluation system.
Error: firth Suggestion: first

Sentence: For example, the SAT score requirements became much higher, and it forced average students apply for other universities, while Omega got more talanted students.
Error: talanted Suggestion: talented

Sentence: Hence, the specific evidence should be provided that the applying requriments remained the same.
Error: requriments Suggestion: requirements

Sentence: The next thing that sould be discussed is that a competitive race between graduated students from Omega and Alpha.
Error: sould Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Perhaps, the evaluation system does not create the described problem, and Omega students less likely to find a job, becuase of the different reason.
Error: becuase Suggestion: because

Sentence: To sum up, the given passage tries to investigate the problem of graduated students, and the author of the text made the consclusion that evaluation system is the main point.
Error: consclusion Suggestion: conclusion

Sentence: However, it lacks additional evidence that clafiry and strengthen the argumentation.
Error: clafiry Suggestion: clarity

----------------
argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- not OK. It is duplicated to argument 2. Need one argument to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:

'To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.'
----------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 2205 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.365 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.85 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.682 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.576 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Dear support,

Thank you very much for the evaluation.
I have two questions: arguing against the conslusion should be in a separate part (for example, one paragraph should be designed for that) or it could be discussed shortly in a "sum up" ending?
And, did 7 spelling errors affect the score?
I really nervous that my spelling errors may affect a score.
Thanks in advance!

Arguing against the conclusion should be in a separate paragraph, most likely the fourth paragraph.

and when you argue same thing in two paragraphs, most likely it is duplicated.

Yes, spelling errors affect the score when they are too many. You will have to practice typing correctly.