The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. If we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program, we can predict that our profits will increase, too."
The marketing director of Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville suggested that taking into account the declinig audience at the theatre, the theatre should initiate 'Shakespeare in the Park' program to increase the profits considering the same initiative started by Avon Repertory Theatre two years ago. The marketing director gave his opinion based on a similar idea of another company and he suggested that their company's profit will increase by conducting free plays. I would like to argue against the author as the suggestion given by him is a tenuous explaination and it lacks concrete evidence.
First of all, the main reason behind conducting free plays is the decline in average audience at the theatre. The marketing director's suggestion evoked many questions like "What can be the reason behind the decline of audience ?" and "Will there be an increase in profit after conducting Shakespeare in the Park ?". These are the questions that must be taken into account while suggesting an opinion. The decline in average audience is posible due many reasons. People have watched the plays and are not interested in watching it again. The play would be obsolete these days, or the theatre may be charging more for the tickets. Hence, its essential to ascertain the reason behind the decline in audience before suggesting an opinion.
Moreover, the marketing director asserted that inspite of increased advertising, there is a decrease in the audience. This arises many questions like "Was the advertise articulated properly ?". And, its inevident that increase in advertisement will always increase in customers. It can be possible, and it cannot be possible too. It depends on the content of advertisement and the means of advertising. Accordingly, the marketing director should have given better evidence to support his suggestion. Nevertheless, he failed to give credible data to support his argument.
Meanwhile, the marketing director suggested to conduct "Shakespeare in the Park" program in summer to increase their profit margin inasmuch conducted by the Avon Theatre. The director again fails in providing enough support to his statement. Initially he suggests to conduct the free plays in summer, but he did not mention about when the Avon theatre conducted their free plays. In addition to it, the increase in profit of Avon Theatre may be possibly due to a change in their plays, or by giving efficient discount on tickets, etc. Hence, these are the factors to be taken into account, but the author did not mention about it. It is seemingly true that the author failed to collect enough evidence regarding the factors that led to an increase in profit of Avon Repertory Company.
Summing up the points mentioned above, I thereby argue that the suggestion given by the marketing director lacks sufficient proof to support it and the author must ascertain the reason behind the decrease in audience and based on the data, he must find out a solution that can increase the audience in the theatre.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 161, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...is arises many questions like 'Was the advertise articulated properly ?'. And, its ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, first, hence, may, moreover, nevertheless, regarding, so, while, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2575.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 491.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24439918534 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79655428322 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433808553971 0.468620217663 93% => OK
syllable_count: 812.7 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 1.0 0.471057884232 212% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.1718371561 57.8364921388 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.291666667 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4583333333 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201800231278 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0570395460095 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0653432151366 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120163914524 0.128457276422 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.062241305317 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.