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The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College."To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current

Essay topics: The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.

"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Anjana95's picture

While the author's claim sounds plausible at first, it is rife with vague assumptions and claims that requires further analysis.
Firstly, the author states the enrollment of students have increased in the Buckingham college. While this may be true, there is no data to support that those students wil be willing to take a dormitory. For example, most of them could be day scholars and might choose to come from home to college. Also,building new dormitories based on a trend that can happen anywhere in next 50 years seems a little absurd. It may happen an year from now or It may take a long time. The money alocated for this might be useful for other purposeslike giving scholarships for students or improving the lab facilities.

Another major argument the author poses is that the average rent of the apartment has risen in the recent past thus it will not be feasible for student to live off campus. This can attacked at many levels. First, the past trend does not guarantee that in the future the price will remain high. It may fall. Second, even if the prices stay high, it is possible for students to rent an apartment and share the cost. In that way, the money spent by single person can be much less than the dormitory fee.

Lastly, the author makes a claim that new dormitories would lead to many students enrolling in Buckinhgham college. This is a very weak argument based on flimsy grounds. Students mostly go for the college that offers quality education.So, if the education offered is sub standard and the dormitories are attractive, it serves no good. In fact, students might not mind shedding few extra dollars for a place to live if they are provided with good tuitions. Thus the author should analyse and verify all the angles to the argument before concluding to build new dormitories.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 303, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , building
...hoose to come from home to college. Also,building new dormitories based on a trend that c...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 425, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...rs seems a little absurd. It may happen an year from now or It may take a long tim...
^^
Line 4, column 155, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s it will not be feasible for student to live off campus. This can attacked at ma...
^^
Line 6, column 236, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...e college that offers quality education.So, if the education offered is sub standa...
^^
Line 6, column 457, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...f they are provided with good tuitions. Thus the author should analyse and verify al...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, second, so, thus, while, for example, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1502.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 315.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.76825396825 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52986196503 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.574603174603 0.468620217663 123% => OK
syllable_count: 459.0 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.9610921884 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.4444444444 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131614108855 0.218282227539 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0422294276537 0.0743258471296 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0464283399819 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0710966930884 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04819477779 0.0628817314937 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 14.3799401198 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.09 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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