The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this passage, the author recommends Buckingham College to build up new dormitories, because many factors contribute to its increasing requirement of new domicles for future students. To support his/her claim, the author cites increasing enrollment number of students for reference. Furthermore, inadequacy of off-campus housing is also quoted in his/her memo. Additionally, new dormitories are also illustrated as a main reason to attract new students. Quite reasonable though such recommendation appears at first glance, a closer scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks crucial supports and therefore we should consider more evidence to help evaluate such conclusion.
To start off, we need evidence to verify if predicted upsurging enrollment of students would definitely lead to demand of new dormitories. While it is shown that enrollment seems to keep robust up-growing trend, no evidence serves to rule out the probability that such trend would continue in a long run, or other factors, such as graduation rate could ameliorate such pressure. Thus, additional evidence gains great significance to determine whether it could ineluctably lead to urgent demands for new dormities without any other choices. If new information shows that this college already reach pinnacle of their capacity for further enrollment or more students would graduate from the school to evacuate from original dormitories, it is reasonably safe to claim that new dormitories are unnecessary and his/her claim will be weakened. On the contrary, if new evidence discloses that statements in the memo keep true and no other factors could help improve such situation, his/her claim will be strengthened.
Furthermore, we need more evidence to ascertain whether students could confronted insolved problem to find apartment off-campus. First of all, while rent increase of apartment seems promising, we don't exactly understand whether majority of incoming students could afford such rents or not. If they possess sufficient finanical pratronization, the statement about their difficulties to find sutiable apartment is in great doubt and his/her claim will be rendered much less advisable. Second, we need to know whether they are able to choose remote apartment and take traffic to the campus. If it turns out that the traffic around the college is excellent, which could fully support them to traverse between the place that they rent and university, we are unconvince about adding investment for new dorimorities would be a wise decision.
Last but not least, even if all of facts mentioned above prove valid, a more accurate evaluation of the author's recommendation requires further analysis. Thus, additional evidence is needed to decide whether attractive dormitories could really play a signficant roles to grasp with new recurtment; that is to say, whether prospective or talented students would take better dormitories as the major factors, which determine their ultimate choice for school. If the answer is positive, his/her claim will be strengthened. On the contrary, if students give priority to experienced teachers, research milieu, job availability rather than hardware setting of the university, we are reluctant to believe that such investment could actually fit for original estimation for more enrollment.
In summary, the evidence cited by the author in the argument could not provide sufficiently conclusive information to make his/her claim compelling. As a result, we need more evidence to help evaluate such conclusion.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 545 350
No. of Characters: 2924 1500
No. of Different Words: 274 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.832 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.365 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.912 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 219 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 185 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 146 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 90 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.825 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.905 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.215 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ham College to build up new dormitories, because many factors contribute to its i...
^^
Line 1, column 526, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... recommendation appears at first glance, a closer scrutiny reveals that the concl...
^^
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t seems to keep robust up-growing trend, no evidence serves to rule out the proba...
^^
Line 3, column 348, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r other factors, such as graduation rate could ameliorate such pressure. Thus, ad...
^^
Line 5, column 72, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'confront'
Suggestion: confront
...nce to ascertain whether students could confronted insolved problem to find apartment off-...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of all, while rent increase of apartment seems promising, we dont exactly underst...
^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...rease of apartment seems promising, we dont exactly understand whether majority of ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 105, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...alid, a more accurate evaluation of the authors recommendation requires further analysi...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, if, really, second, so, then, therefore, thus, while, in summary, such as, as a result, first of all, on the contrary, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 35.0 16.3942115768 213% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3001.0 2260.96107784 133% => OK
No of words: 537.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.58845437616 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81386128306 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00105575298 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 204.123752495 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517690875233 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 932.4 705.55239521 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 2.70958083832 406% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.0019960755 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.904761905 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5714285714 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.28571428571 5.70786347227 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178099508842 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0538155239304 0.0743258471296 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0454624115015 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0975660322657 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0680456468753 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 14.3799401198 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.44 12.5979740519 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.23 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 148.0 98.500998004 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.