The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores."Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since

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The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

While it may be true that the profits of Movies Galore are declining and that they should take action to resolve this issue, the author does not present a completely cogent case about the reasons and recommendations for this problem. And his arguments would benefit from evidence to substantiate his claims and business plan.

The author first state that the profits have been declining and suggests that the operating expenses should be reduced. However, he does not clarify which of his stores presents the declining, or if they all are. If the declining profits were only present in certain stores, it would be easier to manage the problem in those stores instead of applying a single solution to all of them, which could in fact be counterproductive for the stores operating with good profits.

As part of the solution, the owner says that they should reduce their operating hours in all of Movies Galore’s stores, and then he states that this measure was adopted already by their downtown store, which now closes at 6:00 p.m. instead that their previous 9:00 p.m. schedule, and their also stopped stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. In this case, the author does not provide any data about the success of this policy. If the profits of the downtown store were reduced instead of improved, the viability of this solution would fall apart.

Furthermore, the author does not take into account the difference between the stores. If the policy resulted successful in the downtown store, it does not mean it would have the same positive impact on the other stores. Maybe this schedule works for the downtown store because those are the hours in which more people are at downtown. If the customers lived in other locations such as the suburbs, a reduction in the operating hours could diminish the rentals if the residents arrived to their homes in the late afternoon or night. A survey among their customers in each store could help with the establishment of a good individual schedule.

Finally, the author states that there has been very few complaints about these policies, but such a statement is not clear enough to determine if those complaints are significant. It could be that there are not many complaints because the new schedule does not permit the customers with complaints to go and deliver them. Moreover, the adoption of these policies in every store does not guarantee the improvement of the profits overall or per store.

In conclusion, the owner should substantiate his claims with stronger evidence in order to define the better way to ameliorate his profits. An individual study in each store and the results in the downtown branch could benefit his arguments and help him hinder the losses and ascend the number of rentals and his profits.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

argument 1 and argument 3 are duplicated.

argument 2 -- OK

suggested arguments for argument 2:
the author referred to the trial of reducing working hours and stopping stocking old DVD in downtown Marston. However, the outcomes by these trials are not taken into consideration in his argument. Even if the cost would be reduced by these projects, the revenue would be also reduced. Unless the amount of cost that is reduced overcome the amount of decreased revenue, it would make Movie Galore debt. It is obvious that both cost and revenue should be considered to argue about profit; therefore, the author should provide a concrete evidence that proves these project will be beneficial for Movie Galore.

argument 4 -- OK
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need to argue again the conclusion: we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits.

suggested:
author overlooks other possible solutions. The author estimated that these changes are the best way to increase their profit; however, a lot of ways exist to improve their financial situation. Perhaps, Movie Galore should change their stores’ locations. Additional advertisements would be a crucial strategy. Moreover, firing bad attitude stuffs would decrease their cost drastically. The author should investigate and show the evidence whether or not these reforms would be the best solutions

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 471 350
No. of Characters: 2264 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.659 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.807 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.465 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.298 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.599 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5