The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because

The authors of the recommendation have made comparison between the Regal books and the Monarch books and have argued that due to the fact that Regal books has opened its own café, so it is necessary for the Monarch books to inaugurate a café in their book shop to attract more customers and sell greater number of books, but there are some questions about the probability of the recommendation to conclude predicted results.

The first and the most important question is that if Monarch bookstore has a large customer base due to the various book subjects, so why they have to eliminate the child books part of the store? In contradiction to the argument of directors, the Monarch store will lose some of their potential purchasers. The author has argued that due to the national census that the number of children is decreasing so it would be a good way to remove parts of the store which is specific to the children, but he hasn’t paid attention to the fact that the purchasers of the childish books aren’t limited to the ages’ range of 0-10. Many of parents will go to stores to buy books for their children and there is a possibility that they will attract to other parts of the store and maybe they buy other books plus books for their children. Therefore, by eliminating children books partition of the store, there won’t be any reason for some of the purchasers to come in the store and as a result they will lose a great portion of their customers.

Other question which is essential to be answered is that, what is the replacement for the children books in the store? Is it just a café or other books will also provide for customers? The author must consider that the variation of books’ subjects will be decreased by removing children books partition of the store and without a vast range of subjects which are for various ages the profit of the store will be declined in such a degree that won’t compensate by providing a café for customers. Also, the authors should answer the question that cost of elimination some parts of the store and erecting a café is negligible toward the profit which will be earned by the providing a café? Because authors haven’t provided any financial reports about the higher profit of café in restaurants in comparison with providing books for a wider range of ages.

Doubts about the workability of the recommendation aren’t limited to the previous cases and authors should be able to answer other questions about the proposal. Is there any reliable information from the Regal bookstore about attracting more customers just by creating a café? Or maybe their higher number of customers is due to other reasons like providing inexpensive books. Furthermore, has the number of customers of Monarch bookstore has declined due to the lack of café in the store? Or general trends have altered toward the decline in the number of book readers. If the latter is right, so there is another way to attract people to buy books like advertisements. Maybe people prefer to read books in electronic formats and they aren’t attracted to paper books anymore, so the Monarch café can provide a computer site or Internet website for customers to purchase and read books in electronic format.

Therefore, the recommendation of the monarch books’ board of directors has filled with the enormous number of defects which will result to the unreliable argument about the necessity of providing a café in the store to attract customers and compete with Regal books.

31 minutes
Thank you so much.

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Average: 6.7 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

argument 1 -- not OK. This is not the loopholes: 'The first and the most important question is that if Monarch bookstore has a large customer base due to the various book subjects, so why they have to eliminate the child books part of the store?'

argument 2 -- not OK

argument 3 -- OK
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Need to analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:

condition 1:
Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. //there is no relation between opening a cafe and better business.

condition 2:
Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. //first, the national census may not work for Monarch; second, suppose it works for Monarch, 'a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten' is not equal to 'a significant decline in the book sales for the population under age ten.'

condition 3:
Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café. //your argument 3 OK, but make it simper: It works for location A (a city, community, nation), but it doesn't mean it works for location B (another city, community, nation).

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 615 350
No. of Characters: 2867 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.662 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.131 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5