The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
The arguement makes a number of unwarrented assumptions regarding the Super Screen Movie Production Company's proposal to increase the share of budget allocation for advertising its movies next year. Taken as a whole, these unstated assumptions give rise to many questions which should to be answered. If not, then the whole arguement falls apart.
The author has stated that the audience for their movies last year have reduced compared to the previous years. How can the author state without providing an appropriate statistical data? Statistics are necessary to compare and contrast values based on certain criteria. Here the author should have provided the statics on number of people who attended their company's movies in the previous years. Without this the author's arguement holds invalid.
Next, according to the author, their movies continue to get good reviews from the movie reviewers. He feels that these reviews are not reaching the masses and thus their audience count has decreased. How can the author directly conclude that the lack of public awareness abou their movie quality has resulted in the decrease in their audience? The author cannot directly relate these two and arrive at a conlusion because in today's world where comunication has become so easy, there is no way that lack of communication can be attributed for their problem. People might ve aware of the movies reviews and the might prefer watching it on their televisions or computers rather than going to a theatre.
The author urges the company to allocate a larger share for the advertising to the public for the upcoming movies next year as he is confident about the qualitty of their movies. How can he trust the movie reviews and be confident about their movie's quality without actually analysing them? there are many factors which should be looked into; the quality of the source ( movie reviews) and is it really genuine and trustworthy. A compelete background check is necessary before the author can claim about their movie's quality.
In conclusion, without answering these questions, the authors conclusion holds invaild and the production may face severe loss by expanding their budget.
Sentence: The arguement makes a number of unwarrented assumptions regarding the Super Screen Movie Production Company's proposal to increase the share of budget allocation for advertising its movies next year.
Error: unwarrented Suggestion: unwanted
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
Sentence: If not, then the whole arguement falls apart.
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
Sentence: Without this the author's arguement holds invalid.
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
Sentence: How can the author directly conclude that the lack of public awareness abou their movie quality has resulted in the decrease in their audience?
Error: abou Suggestion: about
Sentence: The author cannot directly relate these two and arrive at a conlusion because in today's world where comunication has become so easy, there is no way that lack of communication can be attributed for their problem.
Error: comunication Suggestion: communication
Error: conlusion Suggestion: confusion
Sentence: People might ve aware of the movies reviews and the might prefer watching it on their televisions or computers rather than going to a theatre.
Error: ve Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The author urges the company to allocate a larger share for the advertising to the public for the upcoming movies next year as he is confident about the qualitty of their movies.
Error: qualitty Suggestion: quality
Sentence: A compelete background check is necessary before the author can claim about their movie's quality.
Error: compelete Suggestion: complete
Sentence: In conclusion, without answering these questions, the authors conclusion holds invaild and the production may face severe loss by expanding their budget.
Error: invaild Suggestion: invalid
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
Need to accept those data or evidence are true, and then try to find out loopholes.
for example: 'the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year.', you need to accept the percentage really increased last year, the loophole is: who are those movie reviewers? maybe they are those who like the movies made positive comments and increased the percentage.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 352 350
No. of Characters: 1800 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.331 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.114 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.323 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.353 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5