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"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popul

Essay topics: "A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."

saharpouya's picture

The argument is that the establishment of a jazz music club in Monroe would be profitable enterprise Author provides a valid conclusion, if his premises would be correct. While his argument appears relies on assumption on which there is no relevant evidence and it uses terms that lack definition.

First, the author presumes that the new jazz music club would be the local market all to itself, while it doesn’t provide a clear proof for the claim. Being just one jazz club in 65 miles, it might because of the not being interested of the people living in Monroe. Then, the creation a new club not only won’t be profitable, but it might cause tremendous losses due to lack of the costumer’s eager.

Second, the notion mentions that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe, while there is no clear correlation between its claim and evidences provided. The participation of over 100,000 people in Monroe jazz festival can’t be the strong reason that all of those people were from the Monroe so that people might have come from farther places. In addition, the author premises on living of famous jazz musicians in Monroe would be entirely wrong, if reasons such as having family or easy access to the equipment had been the reasons for living of musicians in the city. Similarly, as the radio programs aren’t regarding all people’s comments, so ‘Jazz Nightly’ on the radio program can’t provide compatible and sufficient evidence for Monroe people’s longing to jazz music.

Finally, regarding to a nationwide study, author asserts that in Monroe, people costs too much on the Jazz entertainment yearly, while the conclusion would be very different in Monroe in comparison with the nation. People’s attitudes, habit, and interest are really colorful one person to another one let alone between people from different cities. In Monroe, individuals might play Rock music, however, in its neighboring city; people might prefer to listen Classic music because of its especial demographic or social traits.

On conclusion, the issue raised here could easily be addressed by providing evidences that back up the author’s claim. The writer could make a cogent argument if he strengthened the argument with specific demographic, social, and economic proof as to why people in Monroe are willing to the Jazz music.

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Comments

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1877 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.901 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.534 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.875 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.636 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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