For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony Last year however private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony s concerts in the park series doubled The symphony

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For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget.

This is a superficially logical statement that concluded to eliminate the symphony’s budget based on some developing evidence in its performance. The author implies that the increasement in popularity of symphony and consequently in its ticket prices are adequate to ascertain its ability of independance.

A mentioned 200 percent increase of private contributions to this symphony is fair anough to ascertain this symphony is in a rapid developing process.Although classical music is not popular as modern kinds of music, this symphony could attract people more before than it done. Hence, it can be concluded that the symphony could find the people's interest points and strengthened them in its auditions successfully. Correspondingly, a 100 percent increase in attendance at concerts can validate the concluded development of the symphony's performance.

The author illustrates about announcement of increase in ticket prices for next year but it's obscure how much this increase would be. Although an incisive increase in ticket prices is not logical and it can cause loosing a great value of observers, this value should be high enough to make the symphony independant. So the key point here is that it’s should be crystal clear if the symphony can increase ticket prices to require amount to achieve slef-supporting.

On the other hand, there is no certainty about the continuity of the symphony’s triumph. In fact, the continuing of a success is more complicated than the prime process of success. Therefore, it’s crucial to wait and watch the future performance of the symphony and aparent decide to eliminate its budget. The ticket price increasment is a challenge for symphony as making effort to persuade observers that their audition still worths.

As a conclusion, the city shouldn’t suddenly decide to eliminate the symphony’s budget just based on its high performance in a year. Indeed a longer period of time is required to get a definite evaluation of its ability to stand in its own legs.

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Sentence: The author implies that the increasement in popularity of symphony and consequently in its ticket prices are adequate to ascertain its ability of independance.
Error: independance Suggestion: independence
Error: increasement Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: A mentioned 200 percent increase of private contributions to this symphony is fair anough to ascertain this symphony is in a rapid developing process.Although classical music is not popular as modern kinds of music, this symphony could attract people more before than it done.
Error: anough Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Although an incisive increase in ticket prices is not logical and it can cause loosing a great value of observers, this value should be high enough to make the symphony independant.
Error: independant Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Therefore, it's crucial to wait and watch the future performance of the symphony and aparent decide to eliminate its budget.
Error: aparent Suggestion: parent

Sentence: The ticket price increasment is a challenge for symphony as making effort to persuade observers that their audition still worths.
Error: increasment Suggestion: increment

flaws:
You need to argue against the statement. You should not agree with.

Something like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 323 350
No. of Characters: 1659 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.239 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.136 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.003 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.166 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.638 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5