“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made
citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.”
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author of the magazine claims that there is a little to no relation between computer usage and physical fitness, and instead attributes the decline in health to the poor economy. Upon closer inspection however, it is clear that such an argument is built upon layers of false and weak assumptions, and does not hold water if any of them are proven false by extra evidence.
The author first states that computer usage does not lead to a decrease in fitness, citing statistics that overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership is also the highest. The first flaw of this argument comes from the assumption that ownership numbers directly correlates with usage. High ownership of computers may not necessarily imply high usage of those computers, the key factor which experts would normally associate with the drop in fitness, especially when the identities of the owners along with the purposes those computers serve is still unknown. Schools, colleges and work places, for example tend to own disproportionately large quantities of desktops for educational and productivity purposes, with limited shared usage of each computer among students and staff. On the other hand, most individual households tend to own very few computers for personal use, but the extent of usage is also much higher as a result. Therefore, more evidence and background regional information on those statistics would be required to justify this assumption in order to draw the link that increased computer usage would not lead to lower fitness, as there is a clear discrepancy in ownership in between work and home districts.
Building on top of the previous assumption is the fallacy that higher fitness levels along with higher computer usage in the same area would definitely imply a weak link between the two, with no other factors possibly affecting the trend as well. Another case could be that places with higher ownership also tend to be more affluent, since they were able to afford more computers. This means that they could also better afford gym memberships and healthier diets that could offset the negative effects of the higher computer usage. This means that the detrimental effects originally stated by the experts could still exist, and was only obscured by other factors that were not properly taken into account. Therefore, without more statistics on these other factors that could help isolate the issue, this assumption is not properly justified.
The author has also directly assumed that the recent decline in economy is the chief reason behind the unusually lower expenditure on fitness related products and services, and brushed off the decline in fitness as a temporary, ephemeral phenomenon that fades with time as the economy improves. However, without any proper surveys of the population on the reasons behind their lower expenditure this could only remain as speculation. Many other unseen factors such as shifts in cultural paradigms, along with the rise of new popular social media websites could have also led to such a drastic change. Besides, it is also based on another assumption that the only way to keep fit is to spend more on fitness products, when there could possibly be many other ways to stay fit, either through more exercise, or as the experts say, cutting down on computer usage to have more time to do so. If that is true, it would mean that a poor economy may not necessarily mean that people would be less fit, and it also most certainly does not rule out computer usage as a factor behind the decrease in fitness.
All in all, the argument is constructed upon incomplete evidence and shaky foundations, and more evaluation and evidence would be required to strengthen it.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 620 350
No. of Characters: 3077 1500
No. of Different Words: 280 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.99 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.963 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.515 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 216 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 171 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.204 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.895 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 1135, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ssumption in order to draw the link that increased computer usage would not lead ...
^^
Line 6, column 668, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... was only obscured by other factors that were not properly taken into account. Th...
^^
Line 9, column 730, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...nd more on fitness products, when there could possibly be many other ways to stay fit, either ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e would be required to strengthen it.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, well, for example, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 85.0 55.5748502994 153% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3153.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 620.0 441.139720559 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08548387097 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98996985923 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58089262926 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 284.0 204.123752495 139% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458064516129 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 997.2 705.55239521 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.67365269461 478% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 57.4035141337 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 165.947368421 119.503703932 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.6315789474 23.324526521 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.89473684211 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0624447190424 0.218282227539 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0214613719654 0.0743258471296 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0215211088059 0.0701772020484 31% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0355561021827 0.128457276422 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0158767673088 0.0628817314937 25% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.9 14.3799401198 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.81 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 98.500998004 143% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.