Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have

Essay topics:

Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The present argument about Pirouettes Ballet School to be the clear choice for any child to learn dance is completely flawed and the assumptions for such a conclusion are weak on many accounts. Not only it ignores to put up the complete information, it doesn't speak about the facilities and guidance provided by the school to the children.

Firstly, Pirouettes Ballet School is said to have the most intensive program in Elmtown. Now, intensive can have multitude definitions depending upon the students and their abilities. For a student who can work 10-hours a day may not find the 8-hour a day program as intensive as a student who can actively work only for 5-hour a day. Also, intensive doesn't mean productive. Can we guarantee that since the student is going through this particular program, he or she will learn everything properly that is being taught to them? This claim of intensive program could have been strengthened if the whole curriculum of the program was analyzed and presented properly. Information such as courses being offered, the ratio of teachers per student will help in making a deeper understanding of the program and its quality.

Secondly, though their teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world, it doesn't speak about their quality as a teacher. A person may have vast experience but one cannot conclude that they will be equally good in imparting their knowledge to thew children efficiently. Also, it may well happen that the teachers are expert only in one dance form and have performed all over the world only in that particular genre. This assumption ignores the fact that a child may be interested to learn some different dance form that the teacher is not specialized in. This assumption could have been strengthened if the school had also given a list of the vast dance forms the teachers are specialized in, with the number of teachers available for each form. They could have created a chart of various dance forms which may interest the prospective children with the qualifications of the teachers,apart from achievements, to showcase their competency.

Lastly, the conclusion that many of the students went on to become professional dancers with top dance companies doesn't attribute the success of the students completely to the school. It may have happened that these particular students had other external factors supporting them or may be a deep network in this field of art which helped them grow. Also, the school doesn't show the ratio of such successful students with the total children enrolled. It would have been better if the school talked about how they help graduating students to gain initial foothold in the dance industry. They could have showed the statistics supporting their claims of successful students that are many.

In the end, in current form, the argument is too weak to accept the claim of Pirouettes Ballet School to be the best school in Elmtown. It is based in weak facts and assumptions and doesn't speak much about the portrayed success of its alumni.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 254, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... to put up the complete information, it doesnt speak about the facilities and guidance...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 298, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rogram as intensive as a student who can actively work only for 5-hour a day. Als...
^^
Line 3, column 353, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... only for 5-hour a day. Also, intensive doesnt mean productive. Can we guarantee that ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 109, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ballet companies all over the world, it doesnt speak about their quality as a teacher....
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 918, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , apart
... with the qualifications of the teachers,apart from achievements, to showcase their co...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 114, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...sional dancers with top dance companies doesnt attribute the success of the students c...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 367, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...hich helped them grow. Also, the school doesnt show the ratio of such successful stude...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 518, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to graduate' or 'graduate'.
Suggestion: to graduate; graduate
...f the school talked about how they help graduating students to gain initial foothold in th...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 183, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...based in weak facts and assumptions and doesnt speak much about the portrayed success ...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, apart from, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2563.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 511.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0156555773 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75450408675 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70386935737 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452054794521 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 754.2 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.3429770356 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.5 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2272727273 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.40909090909 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.40183668362 0.218282227539 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.122913709406 0.0743258471296 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108816081283 0.0701772020484 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210523459178 0.128457276422 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0473922312558 0.0628817314937 75% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.