A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal re

Essay topics:

A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

In the proposed passage there is a statement that dental care has nothing to do with stopping tooth decay as children in outskirts in the United States have got very professional dental care opportunities, while children in the Himalays have almost no care and the latter have less problems with tooth decay than the former. This claim is logically inconsistent as there are a lot of explanations of described phenomenon.

First of all, there author does not take into account that there can be a geografical factor that nay play a huge role in the health of people. The Nepal people live in the higher mountain region (and the Himalays are the highest mountain chain in the world), it means that the air there has got density that differs much compared with the air in the US suburbs. It might be the air which is responsible for the the disparate levels of tooth decay.

Secondly, it may be that the Himalayan people gather some herbs and plants which grow in that area and use them in order to keep their teeth healthy, so there may be no need for them to go to to professional dentists as they already have almost no problems with their teeth. As people in the suburbs of the US do not have such herbs and plants thay may have to go to the dentists in order to take care of their teeth.

Thirdly, it is not clear why the author compares the Himalayan region people with the people in the outskirts of the US, not with the whole population of the USA. It may be revealed that on average the children in the USA have lower tooth decay than the Himalayan children. (This may be true due to the fact that people in the suburbs have got less professional dentists than people in the cities.) That would totaly reject the statement that dental care is useless in the preventing tooth decay problems.

Finally, the author insists that on average the children go to see a dentist 1.25 times per year. It may be not enough for keeping tooth decay in the lower level. For example, if an average was 2 or 3 times per year, it might be that the children would have less high tooth decay level. And in this situation it is not possible to say that regular dental care has almost no positive affect.

To conclude, there are many flaws in the author's argument and, therefore, his/her statement cannot be consistent as ther are so many explanations that made phenomena much clearer rather than the author's one.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 278, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun problems is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...have almost no care and the latter have less problems with tooth decay than the form...
^^^^
Line 3, column 407, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ght be the air which is responsible for the the disparate levels of tooth decay. Sec...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 407, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ght be the air which is responsible for the the disparate levels of tooth decay. Sec...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 190, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
... so there may be no need for them to go to to professional dentists as they already h...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 192, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o there may be no need for them to go to to professional dentists as they already...
^^
Line 11, column 42, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...o conclude, there are many flaws in the authors argument and, therefore, his/her statem...
^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['finally', 'first', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'therefore', 'third', 'thirdly', 'while', 'for example', 'first of all']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.258064516129 0.25644967241 101% => OK
Verbs: 0.144086021505 0.15541462614 93% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0752688172043 0.0836205057962 90% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0516129032258 0.0520304965353 99% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0322580645161 0.0272364105082 118% => OK
Prepositions: 0.144086021505 0.125424944231 115% => OK
Participles: 0.0172043010753 0.0416121511921 41% => Some participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.37841617936 2.79052419416 85% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0258064516129 0.026700313972 97% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.129032258065 0.113004496875 114% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0258064516129 0.0255425247493 101% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.010752688172 0.0127820249294 84% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2405.0 2731.13054187 88% => OK
No of words: 435.0 446.07635468 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.52873563218 6.12365571057 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.28275862069 0.378187486979 75% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.190804597701 0.287650121315 66% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.133333333333 0.208842608468 64% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0712643678161 0.135150697306 53% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37841617936 2.79052419416 85% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 207.018472906 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.422988505747 0.469332199767 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 45.8685766873 52.1807786196 88% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 20.039408867 80% => OK
Sentence length: 27.1875 23.2022227129 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.9678218451 57.7814097925 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.3125 141.986410481 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.1875 23.2022227129 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.8125 0.724660767414 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 3.58251231527 167% => OK
Readability: 46.2679597701 51.9672348444 89% => OK
Elegance: 1.83962264151 1.8405768891 100% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.550543068944 0.441005458295 125% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.180647721057 0.135418324435 133% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.126560767322 0.0829849096947 153% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.679267684819 0.58762219726 116% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.18146564533 0.147661913831 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.260803174088 0.193483328276 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.133033118015 0.0970749176394 137% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.351951735828 0.42659136922 83% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.115317549482 0.0774707102158 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.351709558979 0.312017818177 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.134464726239 0.0698173142475 193% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.33743842365 60% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.87684729064 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.82512315271 62% => OK
Positive topic words: 4.0 6.46551724138 62% => OK
Negative topic words: 8.0 5.36822660099 149% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.82389162562 106% => OK
Total topic words: 15.0 14.657635468 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.