To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate.

Essay topics:

To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.

The author is suggesting that new dormitories should be built in Buckingham college based on the increase in the enrollment rate. Although, it is quite true that to accommodate the increased strength of students bigger on campus housing facilities will be required, however, the author's argument does not make a cogent case for building new dormitories. The author provides different evidences but it is not clear as to how they directly reflect on implementing the suggested proposal.

The statistical data cited by the author asserts that the enrollment rate will double over a span of 50 years. On careful analysis, one can see that the rate at which the rate is growing is quite slow, since the rate would double in a matter of 50 years i.e. at 4% every year. This data in fact debilitates the proposal of building new dormitories at present. Even if this increase is considered substantial, an increase in the enrollment rate does necessarily mean an increase in the number of students who would choose to live on campus.

To disprove the above mentioned fact, the author posits that with an increase in the average rent for apartments it would be difficult for students to find off-campus boarding and that would mean an increase in students housing on campus. But, the author has overlooked the part where building new dormitories would also mean a hike in the hostel fees for the students, because at least some part of the funds required for this expansion will be taken from their fees. Which of the two options would then be really affordable is the real concern here that needs to be addressed. It is true that there has been an increase in the rents but is it substantial enough that it will make students consider on campus boarding as the final option. Actual figures as to how much the rise in prices has been should have been provided by the author. A generalization as to increase in rent has been mentioned, it is quite possible that this is limited to a particular part of the town. This scope and validity of this evidence is questionable.

Attractive dormitories would mean more students, but the same question of affordability arises. Attractive and new dormitories would mean a hike in the hostel fees. As a result, the new dorms may instead seem like an unattractive option. The whole point of building new dormitories would then become moot. Also, even though the suggestion made by the author may seem practical but does the college have enough funds to do the same, even after taking some portion of the money form the tuition of students. Additionally, is there enough area available with the college to build this new hostel facility. Even if after all these odds, the proposed plan is carried out there is the matter of nuisance that will be caused to other students because of the large scale construction that will be carried out. The author has not given any hint as to how these problems will be tackled.

In conclusion, although the correlations stated are probable, there a lot of other factors that also need to be taken into consideration. A survey should be carried out of the students who would be enrolling. The survey should focus on how many students would be interested in taking up on campus housing. Thereafter, an assessment can be made as to whether the current facility would be enough to house all of them. If this assessment would have been made the author's suggestion might have been more convincing.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 280, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...cilities will be required, however, the authors argument does not make a cogent case fo...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 487, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on implementing the suggested proposal. The statistical data cited by the author...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 541, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nts who would choose to live on campus. To disprove the above mentioned fact, th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 470, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...xpansion will be taken from their fees. Which of the two options would then be really...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 477, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
... after taking some portion of the money form the tuition of students. Additionally, ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 345, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
.... Thereafter, an assessment can be made as to whether the current facility would be enough to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 418, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y would be enough to house all of them. If this assessment would have been made t...
^^
Line 9, column 436, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to house all of them. If this assessment would have been made the authors suggest...
^^
Line 9, column 438, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had been'?
Suggestion: had been
... house all of them. If this assessment would have been made the authors suggestion might have ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 463, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...is assessment would have been made the authors suggestion might have been more convinc...
^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'really', 'so', 'then', 'after all', 'as to', 'at least', 'in conclusion', 'in fact', 'as a result', 'it is true']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.228260869565 0.25644967241 89% => OK
Verbs: 0.178571428571 0.15541462614 115% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0760869565217 0.0836205057962 91% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0419254658385 0.0520304965353 81% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0155279503106 0.0272364105082 57% => OK
Prepositions: 0.138198757764 0.125424944231 110% => OK
Participles: 0.0636645962733 0.0416121511921 153% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.69144880526 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0248447204969 0.026700313972 93% => OK
Particles: 0.00465838509317 0.001811407834 257% => OK
Determiners: 0.13198757764 0.113004496875 117% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0450310559006 0.0255425247493 176% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0155279503106 0.0127820249294 121% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3468.0 2731.13054187 127% => OK
No of words: 596.0 446.07635468 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.81879194631 6.12365571057 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94096258147 4.57801047555 108% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.310402684564 0.378187486979 82% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.239932885906 0.287650121315 83% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.18288590604 0.208842608468 88% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.109060402685 0.135150697306 81% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69144880526 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 207.018472906 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.429530201342 0.469332199767 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 51.4510344883 52.1807786196 99% => OK
How many sentences: 28.0 20.039408867 140% => OK
Sentence length: 21.2857142857 23.2022227129 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.5955121335 57.7814097925 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.857142857 141.986410481 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2857142857 23.2022227129 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.571428571429 0.724660767414 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 3.58251231527 279% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 45.2790028763 51.9672348444 87% => OK
Elegance: 1.82236842105 1.8405768891 99% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.374857606847 0.441005458295 85% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.144257418298 0.135418324435 107% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0937708846706 0.0829849096947 113% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.516637185651 0.58762219726 88% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.146378721967 0.147661913831 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.145385242376 0.193483328276 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0630237230602 0.0970749176394 65% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.510715318168 0.42659136922 120% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0509880267829 0.0774707102158 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.270394802916 0.312017818177 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0516754361557 0.0698173142475 74% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.33743842365 144% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.87684729064 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.82512315271 228% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 12.0 6.46551724138 186% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 10.0 2.82389162562 354% => OK
Total topic words: 27.0 14.657635468 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.