"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate.

Essay topics:

"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."

The argument in which Buchingham College should build new dormitory may seem tenable at first glance. The author makes valid argument, one that it would be true, if its premises were probable and correct. While his conclusion relies on the assumptions for which there is no relevant evidence and it uses the terms that lack the definition.

First, the author claim that the population of the students is growing, so the enrollment will increase soon. However, the author doesn't provide exactly statistic evidences for his claim. Likewise, there is no clear correlation between the population of the students and the enrollment at the college. It is possible that students prefer to study at the other colleges and over the next 50 years, it may be created lots of the colleges and universities which will be better than Buckingham. Thus it might not need to have more dormitories for the college in the future.

Second, according the argument, the rent of the apartments has risen in the recent years. It doesn't provide the correct proof for raising the rent of the apartments and It may be quite convers. So, with the increasing students, the rent of the apartment may decrease because of the increasing the demand. Furthermore, the students often rent one apartment with a numbers of their friends so that they can pay a logical cost for each room. Thus, it cannot be wise that the tremendous expense of the rent in the town has influence on the decision of the Buckingham.

Finally, the author presumes that the dormitories can absorb more students to enroll at the Buckingham. As it is not predictable the future of the college and there are numerous and effective factors in the range of the enrollment, his supposition is unconvincing. Having the decent dormitories is usually the latest case the students consider choosing a college for studying. Having experienced teachers, favorite fields, good location, and other equipment are effectual as well.

Finally, the author fails to convince and persuade his assumptions because of the lack of the conclusive supporting evidences. He could easily address these issues by providing the demographic, social, and economic evidences as to the students, college, and the town.

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Average: 5 (2 votes)
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Comments

argument 1 -- it is not 'the population of the students is growing, so the enrollment will increase soon', but 'enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years'.

argument 2 -- not OK. Need to argue against 'students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing'

argument 3 -- OK

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1814 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.916 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.678 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.05 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.895 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5