The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
While the limitation of the number of the rented mopeds may decrease the accident on the summer months on the Balmer islands, the argument is not cogent enough to suggest the case. Many questions need to be answered to measure the validity of the argument. The most important question to be answered is whether the increased number of mopeds are the real cause of the problem. There are no evidences in the argument to suggest this case. The narrow roads of the Balmer islands may be the problem, the drunk mopeds driver or may be the cause or the poor traffic case may be the case. One can suggest other different cases like the increase in the road show, road festival and the road trades. There is no sure way to ascertain that that the cause of the problem is the increase in the population of the Balmer islands.
Another significant question to be answered is the percent of the mopeds that are rented. There is no evidence to suggest that the majority of the mopeds are the rented ones. The majority of the mopeds in the Balmer islands may be the private ones, so limiting the number of the rented mopeds may not significantly decrease the road accident.
Similarly, there is nothing in the argument so that we can conclude the balmer islands and the nearby islands of the seaville are similar. There may be sharp contrast in the number of things in the balmer islands and the seaville islands. May be the number of rented mopeds in the seaville is much higher than the private mopeds, but totally opposite in the seaville. So one cannot be certain that the enforcing the same regulations would produce the similar outcomes.
Another important question to be answered is whether the rules enforced in the seaville decreased the number of accidents. It ain't necessarily be so. The wide roads may have been constructed at the same time of enforcing the regulation. The traffic police may have been implemented efficiently and the may be people were trained to be more cautious in the road in the summer months.
Again even if the islands of the seaville and the balmer are similar and even if the enforcing the rules may decrease the accident is there a cetain way to know that the accident will be decreased by 50%, No. This conclusion lacks the sufficient data to corroborate it.
So if the author of this argument gives the evidence that shows the islands of balmer and seaville are similar, the evidence to show that rented mopeds are the culprits for the accident and whether the enforcement of the rules is the cause of decrase the accident in seaville, then the argument becomes persuasive and may the conclusion of the argument may be accepted.
Sentence: There is no sure way to ascertain that that the cause of the problem is the increase in the population of the Balmer islands.
Description: The fragment that that contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
Sentence: The traffic police may have been implemented efficiently and the may be people were trained to be more cautious in the road in the summer months.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to the and may
Sentence: Again even if the islands of the seaville and the balmer are similar and even if the enforcing the rules may decrease the accident is there a cetain way to know that the accident will be decreased by 50 , No. This conclusion lacks the sufficient data to corroborate it.
Description: The fragment and the balmer is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: So if the author of this argument gives the evidence that shows the islands of balmer and seaville are similar, the evidence to show that rented mopeds are the culprits for the accident and whether the enforcement of the rules is the cause of decrase the accident in seaville, then the argument becomes persuasive and may the conclusion of the argument may be accepted.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and decrase
Sentence: Again even if the islands of the seaville and the balmer are similar and even if the enforcing the rules may decrease the accident is there a cetain way to know that the accident will be decreased by 50 , No. This conclusion lacks the sufficient data to corroborate it.
Error: cetain Suggestion: certain
flaws:
better to use this pattern for argument essays:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 469 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.654 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.595 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.44 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.45 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.917 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5