The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College."To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In the memo, the director argues to build a number of new dormitories. He cites various evidences to satisfy it. These evidences seem to bolster it, however, meticulous analysis will show otherwise. The director needs to cite certain specific evidences to make the argument more sound: the precise number of students enter the college now and of who choose to live in dormitories and whether the price of college dormitories follow the towns'. Besides, it's necessary to show that there are some particular factors that will absorb the students.

First, if the number of enrollment is so small, even it will double over the next 50 years, the existing dormitory space is adequate enough to satisfy the whole students. Thus, it will weaken the argument. In contrast, if the double number of the students will much over than the space that the dormitory can offer, it's likely that the college should build now dormitories. However, in addition, the director need cite statistic number to show that nearly the whole students will chose to live in dormitories. Without this specific evidences, the director cannot convince me.

Second, it's indispensable for the director the demonstrate the price of college dormitories follow the towns'. If both college dormitories and apartments share the same trend of price, it will bolster the argument. However, if the evidence show the opposite result,the director's argument will be weaken. In that case, it's entirely possible that in the town, the surrounding environment of apartments are general better than that of in the college which lead to the higher price of those apartments in the town. Besides, even if the price of dormitories is as high as of apartments,it's possible that the college will offer students some economic help.

Third, whether there are specific factors or not,such as new and advanced facilities that will absorb the students in the new dormitories will support and weak the argument.

In sum ,the argument is not persuasive, to bolster it , the author needs to cites more specific evidence such as the precise number of students enter the college now and of who choose to live in dormitories and whether the price of college dormitories follow the towns'. Besides, it's also necessary to show that there are some particular factors that will absorb the students. Without these evidence, the director cannot convince me on his view.

Votes
Average: 6.5 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Sentence: Second, it's indispensable for the director the demonstrate the price of college dormitories follow the towns'.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to the and demonstrate

Sentence: However, if the evidence show the opposite result,the director's argument will be weaken.
Description: The fragment evidence show the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace show with verb, past tense

Sentence: In sum ,the argument is not persuasive, to bolster it , the author needs to cites more specific evidence such as the precise number of students enter the college now and of who choose to live in dormitories and whether the price of college dormitories follow the towns'.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and cites
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1954 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.934 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.538 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.38 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5