The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author's argument that a number of new dormitories should be built in Buckingham College in order to accomodate the increasing number of students and also to attract potential students, may seem logical at the first glance. The argument may prove to be a correct one if its premises were true. However,the author's conclusion is based on assumptions for which there is no supporting evidence and terms
that lack definition.
First,the author has assumed that the trend of increase in number of enrollments per year in Buckingham College,will continue for the next fifty years at the same rate. The author has not provided any evidence to support this claim. There is no mention of the time period for which the the yearly increase in number of enrollments has been observed for Buckingham College. If the trend of increase in number of enrollments at the present rate has only been there for say less than five years, it is preposterous on the author's behalf to assume that the trend will go on at the same or increasing rate for the next fifty years. If the author had quoted some reliable research in suport of his claim or provided the example in some other College similar to Buckingham where the number of student got doubled in fifty years, such evidence would have given considerable support to his argument.
Additionally,the author has stated that the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently he assumes that a larger number of students would want to stay in dormitory. However,there is no evidence to prove that. If the author were to provide statistics showing that a larger percentage of students are opting for dormitories than apartments every year, it would lend some credibility to his position. Futhermore, the author has not mentioned anything regarding the fascilities provided in the dormitories and how superior or inferiorthey are to apartemnts. If the students are to get many more fascilities in apartements at rents which may be higher than dormitories but still reasonable, they may opt for apartements rather than dormitries.
The author has not given any clear indictaion of the amount by which a reasonable apartement's rent exceeds that of the dormitory. The author has not given any clear figures regarding the trends of increase in the rates of apartment. There may be empty land near the College which might be developed in a residential area in coming fifty years. Such apartments may be affordable and even cheaper than dormitories. The author has not provided any evidence which disapproves any such happenings in forsseable future.
Summing up,the author may be correct in his assumption that new dormitories are needed and new dormitories will attract more students. However, his conclusion that a number of dormitories need to be built to accomodate future students is based on assumptions with no clear evidences. Thus his argument needs a redefintion and cannot be accepted on face value.
Sentence: If the trend of increase in number of enrollments at the present rate has only been there for say less than five years, it is preposterous on the author's behalf to assume that the trend will go on at the same or increasing rate for the next fifty years.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and say
Sentence: The author's argument that a number of new dormitories should be built in Buckingham College in order to accomodate the increasing number of students and also to attract potential students, may seem logical at the first glance.
Error: accomodate Suggestion: accommodate
Sentence: If the author had quoted some reliable research in suport of his claim or provided the example in some other College similar to Buckingham where the number of student got doubled in fifty years, such evidence would have given considerable support to his argument.
Error: suport Suggestion: support
Sentence: Futhermore, the author has not mentioned anything regarding the fascilities provided in the dormitories and how superior or inferiorthey are to apartemnts.
Error: apartemnts Suggestion: apartments
Error: fascilities Suggestion: facilities
Error: inferiorthey Suggestion: inferiority
Sentence: If the students are to get many more fascilities in apartements at rents which may be higher than dormitories but still reasonable, they may opt for apartements rather than dormitries.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: apartements Suggestion: apartments
Error: fascilities Suggestion: facilities
Error: dormitries Suggestion: dormitories
Sentence: The author has not given any clear indictaion of the amount by which a reasonable apartement's rent exceeds that of the dormitory.
Error: indictaion Suggestion: indication
Sentence: The author has not provided any evidence which disapproves any such happenings in forsseable future.
Error: forsseable Suggestion: foreseeable
Sentence: However, his conclusion that a number of dormitories need to be built to accomodate future students is based on assumptions with no clear evidences.
Error: accomodate Suggestion: accommodate
Sentence: Thus his argument needs a redefintion and cannot be accepted on face value.
Error: redefintion Suggestion: redefinition
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2445 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.91 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.764 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 99 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.36 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.773 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5