The following appeared in a memo from the Mayor of the city of Hillview: " In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for the plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer a significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based on are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answer to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Mayor's concern for town unemployment should be well appreciated. Mayor's idea of inviting Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant looks as a great idea for diminishing unemployment. Mayor's recommendation is based on two assumptions. First, Hillview landfill is underdeveloped and will act as a perfect site for Autotech's manufacturing plant. The mayor's second assumption that building and staffing of this plant will create employment. We will analyze these assumption and better evalute them in following paragraph.
Mayor states that Hillview landfill has been underdeveloped for decaded. Here, the mayor doesn't consider why was the landfill undeveloped for decaded. The landfill might be not suitable for building heavy industries.There might also be case that there are no river or lakes for industries to discharge waste material. The mayor should therefore, hire a civil engineer or alike erudite person to solve the mystry of this landfill. Accordingly, solution must be sorted out. The landfill might not be useful for building industries but might be helpful in plant cultivating or argriculture.
Let us assume that the landfill is fit for building industries. Still it might not solve the problem of unemployment. People who are unemployed are the workers on a Computer software company Computech. This company being a software company should have employed most of the sofware engineers. On the other hand, Autotech industry is an automobile industry which will be needing mechanical or electrical engineering. They might employ the these unemployed people but then the manufacturing company will have to invest for their training. So, mayor should take that into account that is that company ready to train all the people when it can get engineers from outside the city. Mayor should also poll a survery to find out the skills of the unemployed people so that it will help in better evalutation.
Finally, the mayor must strength his recommendation by looking into a bigger picture which will benefit the town. He should find out why the land is unused. Find a company which better suits the unemployed people according to their skillset.
Sentence: They might employ the these unemployed people but then the manufacturing company will have to invest for their training.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, plural
Suggestion: Refer to the and these
Sentence: Finally, the mayor must strength his recommendation by looking into a bigger picture which will benefit the town.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to must and strength
Sentence: We will analyze these assumption and better evalute them in following paragraph.
Error: evalute Suggestion: evaluate
Sentence: Mayor states that Hillview landfill has been underdeveloped for decaded.
Error: decaded Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: underdeveloped Suggestion: under developed
Sentence: Here, the mayor doesn't consider why was the landfill undeveloped for decaded.
Error: decaded Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The mayor should therefore, hire a civil engineer or alike erudite person to solve the mystry of this landfill.
Error: mystry Suggestion: mystery
Sentence: The landfill might not be useful for building industries but might be helpful in plant cultivating or argriculture.
Error: argriculture Suggestion: agriculture
Sentence: This company being a software company should have employed most of the sofware engineers.
Error: sofware Suggestion: software
Sentence: Mayor should also poll a survery to find out the skills of the unemployed people so that it will help in better evalutation.
Error: evalutation Suggestion: evaluation
Error: survery Suggestion: survey
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.957 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.699 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 344 350
No. of Characters: 1792 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.307 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.209 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.859 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.957 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.699 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.458 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5