The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that manufactures tools and home appliances.
"Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song."
The sales manager of Eco-Power company which manufactures the tools and home appliances made a analysis of the advertising method of his company and the fast-food and soft drinks restaurants. Primaficily it is convencing the managers concern about thier sale of appliances. If we look carefully and if we analyse that the argument is seems wrong and baseless. The argument has many loopholes and that not flow up. Such type of statement by the sales manager is not accepting. And such kind of foolishness by the sales manager always makes company towards down steps.
The first statement by the sales manager is that "Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised." It is agreeable and acceptable that the tunes and song lyrics are most popular things in a world. And if it is use for the radio and television commercials the public in a world unbiasly attracted towards that product. It is a good in advertisement but it is not applicable to the Eco-Power comapany. Because Eco-Power company is manufacturing the tools and home appliances and music and songs are not required for the advertisement of tools and home things.Something which is useful and believable and informative things are necessary for the advertise the home appliances. For instance for the advertisement of sofa sets it does not required the famous tune or song but is necessary to show the comfortness, fabric and how budgetable it is.
The second reason stating by the manager is that "recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants." This assertion is totally reckless. The survey and study in a high school student is totally a foolishness. Because high school students are not concerned about the home appliances and they are always attracted towards the soft drinks and fast-food resturants. The high school students are not in the catagory of customer or buyers of the home appliances.So it is immaterial that how many parcent students are recognise the tunes of the restaurant. There is a no competition and no connection between the soft drinks and fast-food resturants and tool and home appliances company. So, argument on this is a baseless.
The third statment by the sales manager is that "Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined." and "to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song." The first sentence in a thirs statement is worrisome because the sales of home appliances declined. Company does extensive advertising in magazine but it seems it was not is proper manner. Instead of investing money in advertising the company should improve their quality of appliances. Company needs a consumers satisfaction rather than advertising. And for the making profit using the distinctive song in a advertisement is a chid like idea by the sales manager. When the buyers become statify by the use of the appliances then only the other buyers are attracted towards that. And a mouth publicity for any product is world most popular advertisement.
In a view of the above argument, the sales manager must use the other strategies for attracting the people for their product. He should be think in a buyers perspective that what they need.? I will really help to improve their productivity and make a profit.
Sentence: If we look carefully and if we analyse that the argument is seems wrong and baseless.
Description: The fragment we analyse that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace analyse with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and seems
Sentence: For instance for the advertisement of sofa sets it does not required the famous tune or song but is necessary to show the comfortness, fabric and how budgetable it is.
Description: The fragment not required the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace required with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: Company needs a consumers satisfaction rather than advertising.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to consumers and satisfaction
Sentence: He should be think in a buyers perspective that what they need.?
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to buyers and perspective
Sentence: Primaficily it is convencing the managers concern about thier sale of appliances.
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: convencing Suggestion: convening
Sentence: It is a good in advertisement but it is not applicable to the Eco-Power comapany.
Error: comapany Suggestion: company
Sentence: The high school students are not in the catagory of customer or buyers of the home appliances.So it is immaterial that how many parcent students are recognise the tunes of the restaurant.
Error: recognise Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: catagory Suggestion: category
Error: parcent Suggestion: percent
Sentence: There is a no competition and no connection between the soft drinks and fast-food resturants and tool and home appliances company.
Error: resturants Suggestion: restaurants
Sentence: The third statment by the sales manager is that 'Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined.' and 'to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song.'
Error: statment Suggestion: statement
Sentence: The first sentence in a thirs statement is worrisome because the sales of home appliances declined.
Error: thirs Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: And for the making profit using the distinctive song in a advertisement is a chid like idea by the sales manager.
Error: chid Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: When the buyers become statify by the use of the appliances then only the other buyers are attracted towards that.
Error: statify Suggestion: ?
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Words: 577 350
May not use sentences directly from the topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 577 350
No. of Characters: 2881 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.901 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.993 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.85 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 208 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 164 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 91 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.233 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.51 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.455 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5