Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with

Essay topics:

"Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning."
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Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

With the recent proposal of Mr. Obama to take another approach at dividing government funding for colleges, where there will be looked at the quality of a college versus its tuition, the question comes to mind if competition is necessary to excel in class or if it limits the quality of real learning. At first sight the first option seems to appeal, but a scrutiny reveals that a more balanced approach might give a solution to good education.

On the one hand competition brings out the best in a person in terms of his learning capacity. In this way a stimulation to be the very best is made, an inner urge everybody has deep inside of him. However everybody has the need to be the best, not everybody has the character to face loss and overcome it. Some students give up because they encounter someone better.

On the other hand competition might destroy the purpose of real learning. For the reason that grades are important, it occurs more and more frequently that the only focus is to get a good grade, thereby forgetting what the subject of study is all about. Students start to memorise frequently asked questions by their professors just to get that edge over their fellow classmates, not learning the essence of the course. This defeats the purpose of real learning. One should learn to acquire knowledge, not grades. Unfortunately for all students out there, there has to be a system to test this knowledge and this happens to be in the form of grades. A reconsideration of testing methods has been going on for years already, but hasn't lead to any amelioration over the grading system yet.

However grades seem or best solution for now, competition isn't the only factor that can influence an excel in them. A good communnity to live in and external stimulation from family and friends helps a lot as well. Love can be a grater stimulus than competition.

In conclusion we can say that we live in a society where we look up to the best. Therefore competition is inherent to every action we take, from running to learning and excelling in the classroom. However, competition isn't the only factor that makes us excel in classrooms. Other factors like friendship and community play also an important roll. By dividing the government funding across colleges around the U.S.A., the White House should take these factors into account as well.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (26 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: A good communnity to live in and external stimulation from family and friends helps a lot as well.
Error: communnity Suggestion: community

flaws:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271 0.35

Be sensitive to use 'However' in the essays.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 1899 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.609 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.158 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Thank you very much for your quick replies. I'm trying to improve my written english, but the past four issue essays I always get a grade of 4.5/6 where my main flaw is always some coherence. Here it is the sentence-text coherence, but it also has been the sentence-sentence coherence as well. How do I improve these points? Suggestions from other users of this site are welcome too.

Tim