Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.

Essay topics:

Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.

Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.

The issue here is whether the goals chosen by an individual should be considered to be contributing to the society or whether they have to be chosen for one's dream fulfillment. The claim lays emphasis on the worthiness of the goal but the reason given to do so has a very narrow outlook on the issue. This given reason maligns the people's motives to pursue a goal and undermines their decision making power.

Firstly, directly coming to the claim given, it has a very narrowed and categorical word to define a goal. Who can decide if a goal is worthy or not? Does the person's motivation of pursuing a goal actually stems from such reasoning always? When you call someone's dream selfish, you are questioning their morality. Take the example of Wright Brothers. Their dream was to make man fly using money and machines they had. These could have used in other philanthropic work. But instead they chose to make a flight. Their dream was selfish but its worthiness in today's world is immeasurable.

Secondly, I believe goals are supposed to be selfish. They are supposed to be pursued with all dedication, ignoring other things in life to achieve them. Distractions and adhering to other people will only make people deviate from their path. Dr. Nikola Tesla comes to mind in this case. To make path breaking contributions in Physics, he never worked in a group. He solely devoted his time to study electromagnetism. People might have definitely called him selfish for doing this, but that doesn't lessen his contribution to the world.

Conversely it can be pointed out that barring some cases, not all goals make contributions and they are inherently selfish. But we cannot undermine such contributions to the whole scenario. For example if machines were invented for making quick money, the same sophisticated machines helped Dr. Tesla to carry out his experiments. Another counterpoint here can be that this will make people ethically down and become repudiate. But saying so is only looking at a very small picture. After all humans have their share of imperfections, but the collective good that comes from such contributions outshines these deficiencies.

In a nutshell, it is good to guide young people in their path and help them with insights for pursuing their goals. But telling them that doing so is selfish is wrong. It discourages them and shows the closed mindset of the people they are seeking help from. Hence, young people should only be guided not shunned for their particular choices.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 160, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...de if a goal is worthy or not? Does the persons motivation of pursuing a goal actually ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 492, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ed him selfish for doing this, but that doesnt lessen his contribution to the world. ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Conversely,
...essen his contribution to the world. Conversely it can be pointed out that barring some...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, conversely, first, firstly, hence, if, look, second, secondly, so, after all, as to, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 33.0505617978 136% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2091.0 2235.4752809 94% => OK
No of words: 422.0 442.535393258 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95497630332 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73129014721 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535545023697 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 637.2 704.065955056 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.740449438202 270% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 23.0359550562 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.6642465389 60.3974514979 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 72.1034482759 118.986275619 61% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.5517241379 23.4991977007 62% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8275862069 5.21951772744 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159695839033 0.243740707755 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0436887406983 0.0831039109588 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.040528898309 0.0758088955206 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102126063073 0.150359130593 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0346255302479 0.0667264976115 52% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 14.1392134831 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 48.8420337079 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 12.1743820225 62% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.84 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 100.480337079 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.2143820225 68% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.