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Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and s

Essay topics: Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Anjana95's picture

The word 'formal' itself brings with it a very strict and restricted connotation. In the contemporary world, every kid is expected to do 'well' in school. The definition of a good student or an 'A' grade student is given by some number that is obtained on a test with questions pertaining to one particular field.
As absurd as it sounds, unfortunately, that is the type of education system that we are currently following.

When a child is born, he/she is bubbling with curiosity. We would have definitely seen hyperactive kids breaking things while learning to use them. They try to learn things by doing and making mistakes which is the practical approach. Essentially, every human being is a scientist when he/she is born.
An interesting phenomenon happens when the kid reaches the age 5. They were a uniform and lose the ability to think. They are put in a confined environment and are subjected to dogmatic teaching where rarely questions are encouraged. The worst part of this system is when we label them with numbers and categorize them as 'good' and 'bad'.
Most of the kids lose their enthusiasm and curiosity by the time they reach adolescence. This can be attributed to the way they are treated in the name of education. Most of them do not understand the practical applications of the subjects they learn at school which causes further aversion towards the subject. These problems can be solved by a way of teaching that does not impose any restrictions on the students and engages hem actively by making them feel that their contributions matter.

There are so many school and college dropouts who made a mark for themselves in this world. Be it, Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg, their discoveries changed the world. Albert Einstein was not a very bright kid at school and now students who solve his highly complicated problems are known to be intelligent. There are plenty of examples like this.

Schools in Finland encourages the kids to participate in various activities apart from formal education like volunteering, gardening, and peer-peer learning. This approach will definitely contribute to a holistic development of a student and expand his or her horizons. There are also schools in Japan where the kids cook their own meal or cook for their schoolmates.
Many discoveries, breakthroughs, revolutions etc... has only happened because somebody dared to dreamed and rebelled against the conventional way of thinking or questioned the old school of thought.
Unfortunately, the formal education system that we currently have imprisons the kid's brain and uproots all the new, crazy ideas that blooms within.

The ultimate aim of education is set a human being free, make him/her an independent thinker which will help in building a healthier society. Any system opposing that defeats the very purpose of it.

However, one should not forget that the formal education has so far done a pretty decent job of making responsible citizens and provided us with ample knowledge to survive the world. While the entire system is not flawed, it will be better if the scope of education is expanded and more freedom is provided. Ultimately, if the citizens of the nation are benefitted the country as a whole improves.

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Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 188, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'an' or 'A' is left.
Suggestion: an; A
...ol. The definition of a good student or an A grade student is given by some number t...
^^^^
Line 2, column 38, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , 
.... As absurd as it sounds, unfortunately, that is the type of education system th...
^^
Line 8, column 14, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun school seems to be countable; consider using: 'many schools'.
Suggestion: many schools
...r contributions matter. There are so many school and college dropouts who made a mark fo...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, thus, well, while, apart from

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.5258426966 169% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 33.0505617978 157% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 58.6224719101 97% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2706.0 2235.4752809 121% => OK
No of words: 537.0 442.535393258 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03910614525 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81386128306 4.55969084622 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85421224498 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 215.323595506 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.532588454376 0.4932671777 108% => OK
syllable_count: 833.4 704.065955056 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.740449438202 135% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 20.2370786517 153% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.4231559331 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.2903225806 118.986275619 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3225806452 23.4991977007 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.83870967742 5.21951772744 35% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 11.0 4.97078651685 221% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0965554836231 0.243740707755 40% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0224189632764 0.0831039109588 27% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0266099962565 0.0758088955206 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0397096256437 0.150359130593 26% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.021947258827 0.0667264976115 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.1392134831 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.8420337079 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.1639044944 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 100.480337079 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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