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People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting

Essay topics: People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Anjana95's picture

In this'well connected' world, where the we are constantly surrounded by people with myriad of behaviors and are bombarded with loads of information about how one must react or behave in a certain situation: Famous examples are those social media posts that starts with '10 things you must do when you are making an important decision' and other sources like 'professionals' offering advice, it seems that the choice of our behaviour is not so much in our control.

Let us consider a typical day of an average human being and determine what say he has in how his day goes. Firstly, the work place. There are statistics to prove that most of the people are not happy with their job. Then why dont they just quit? The underlying reason is family. If he/she leaves the job, there would be financial problems in the family thus forcing him/her to continue the job. Secondly, we can look at the small choices that people make in everyday life to see how much do they actually want to make that choice.
For example, moms go shopping in a supermarket. she would have to buy products that she may not like but her kids or spouse might. Her buying behaviour might entirely change for the family. Speaking of buying behaviour, it is a very classic example to show how people end up buying things that they would not use.This attitude is partly influenced by media and advertisement where the product is shown all perfect and flawless but in reality it is no where close to that and rest by peer pressure. How many teenagers we know who succumb to peer pressure and buy things that they cant afford and is not necessary? (For example iPhones)

Another great example for this would be our emotional behaviour.It is well known that they are irrational. people end up taking stupid decisions when they are emotionally unstable. Their entire behaviour alters. I am sure,all of us would have encountered this or atleast read something along the lines of 'Millionaire becomes pauper in one night because of gambling'.

Society plays an important role in determining our behaviour. In India, it is more prominent when it comes to choosing a major for the college. Most of the Indians choose engineering as their majors because that is what society has been telling them to do so( a major misconception that only that field can offer a great job with good money). It is an unfortunate situation because kids spend grueling no of hours studying for the competetitive exams and end up believing that it is their own personal choice to become one. But when the societal veneer is torn apart once they enter college, they end up regretting their decision.
This is a classic example of how the behaviour of people are influenced by others in a domain as important as career where only the personal choice should matter.

Having exhaustively explored the areas in which people dont act independently because of various reasons, one must understand that there is an important difference between humans and animals and that is the sixth sense. We ae not monkeys that throws the hat when it master does the same. Wehave an incredible power to differentiate ,analyse and think on our own. While society imparts both good and bad, it is our duty to carefully assess and absorb only the good and ignore the bad. The ultimate benefit is afterall for us to lead a better life.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'we'?
Suggestion: the; we
In thiswell connected world, where the we are constantly surrounded by people wit...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 226, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... are not happy with their job. Then why dont they just quit? The underlying reason i...
^^^^
Line 4, column 48, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: She
...ple, moms go shopping in a supermarket. she would have to buy products that she may...
^^^
Line 4, column 313, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...p buying things that they would not use.This attitude is partly influenced by media ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 448, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...rfect and flawless but in reality it is no where close to that and rest by peer pr...
^^
Line 4, column 579, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... peer pressure and buy things that they cant afford and is not necessary? For exampl...
^^^^
Line 6, column 65, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...r this would be our emotional behaviour.It is well known that they are irrational....
^^
Line 6, column 108, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...is well known that they are irrational. people end up taking stupid decisions when the...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 222, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , all
...Their entire behaviour alters. I am sure,all of us would have encountered this or at...
^^^^
Line 8, column 172, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to engineer'.
Suggestion: to engineer
...the college. Most of the Indians choose engineering as their majors because that is what so...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 401, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...e situation because kids spend grueling no of hours studying for the competetitive...
^^
Line 9, column 73, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...w the behaviour of people are influenced by others in a domain as important as ca...
^^
Line 11, column 56, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...vely explored the areas in which people dont act independently because of various re...
^^^^
Line 11, column 267, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'masters'?
Suggestion: masters
...not monkeys that throws the hat when it master does the same. Wehave an incredible pow...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 332, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ave an incredible power to differentiate ,analyse and think on our own. While soci...
^^
Line 11, column 509, Rule ID: AFTERALL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'after all'?
Suggestion: after all
...ignore the bad. The ultimate benefit is afterall for us to lead a better life.
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, while, for example, speaking of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.5258426966 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 11.3162921348 247% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 72.0 33.0505617978 218% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2768.0 2235.4752809 124% => OK
No of words: 582.0 442.535393258 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7560137457 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91168771031 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55246896901 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 309.0 215.323595506 144% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530927835052 0.4932671777 108% => OK
syllable_count: 864.9 704.065955056 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 2.0 0.740449438202 270% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.2370786517 138% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 91.1830968045 60.3974514979 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.8571428571 118.986275619 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7857142857 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.17857142857 5.21951772744 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.97078651685 141% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 16.0 7.80617977528 205% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 5.13820224719 175% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.124901629856 0.243740707755 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0303476598873 0.0831039109588 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0291225204699 0.0758088955206 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0576545725949 0.150359130593 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0320934681538 0.0667264976115 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 100.480337079 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 26.5 11.8971910112 223% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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