The diagram about why people move from villages to big cities. Write 150 words.
According to research of social’s government gives a result which many people in rural areas move in the big city. The research also shows information about development of inhabitants in the big city.
There are many causes; firstly, use fossil fuel is an essential thing to operate many modes of transport. This gives bad effect for environment, so world is becoming more changing climate or people call global warming. Secondly, poor harvest appear as one of problem from global warming. Because of that, people in the rural areas are difficult to get money.
Moreover, inhabitants from a small village decide to move in big city, because people think that big city a best place to get a job. On the other hand, government finds many problems from residents who move into big city. The problems are idleness and overcrowding which are appearing as an effect from urbanized, because many people come to capital city without good ability and skill, so they do not have opportunity to get great job. Unemployment is growing up which means that many poor people in big city. Jobless cannot buy all premier necessities and they think that crime is the best way for getting lots of money easier.
Over all, in the big city has a social problem, there is about economic contras between rich people and poor populations. Nowadays, if people watch a news program in the television, crime in Jakarta always increase and become treading topic. As a result, state and local government should reduce the main factor of unemployment and crime.
According to research of social’s government gives a result which many people in rural areas move in the big city.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Secondly, poor harvest appear as one of problem from global warming.
Description: The fragment harvest appear as is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace appear with verb, past tense
Sentence: Moreover, inhabitants from a small village decide to move in big city, because people think that big city a best place to get a job.
Description: The fragment village decide to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace decide with verb, past tense
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an adjective, superlative
Suggestion: Refer to a and best
Sentence: Over all, in the big city has a social problem, there is about economic contras between rich people and poor populations.
Error: contras Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 259 200
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 259 200
No. of Characters: 1241 1000
No. of Different Words: 146 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.012 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.792 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.469 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.15 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4