The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the proses.
The figures illustrate production process of chocolate and how the cost allocated for every stakeholder until chocolate is ready to be sold. It can be seen that chocolate passes long stage before chocolate is put in the market.
How chocolate is made? Firstly, cocoa is grinded until it produced cocoa essence, and residue is separated in waste place. Cocoa liquor is divided into two different track. One part of cocoa liquor will be entered in industrial chocolate. Another is processed to produce cocoa butter and powder. Cocoa powder will be aimed to food industry, whereas cocoa butter will be included in industrial chocolate. Chocolate bar that is usually in market is processed in industrial with formulated cocoa liquor, cocoa butter plus sugar, and other ingredients.
The piece of chocolate in market is expensive, although cocoa farmer merely got 4%. The diagram show profit sharing of chocolate. Chocolate manufacture got 10% of total price, but it turn out the case is 15% profit for tax. Cost of ingredients and overhead obtains 37%, and mostly gain is achieved for supermarket as big as 34%.
To sum up, the price of chocolate is divided for all part of processing. Farmers get the lowest gain because farmer as provider of cocoa fruit, compared supermarket that have 34% because distributor of chocolate includes all promote cost and marketing.
Sentence: Chocolate manufacture got 10 of total price, but it turn out the case is 15 profit for tax.
Description: The fragment it turn out is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace turn with verb, past tense
Sentence: Farmers get the lowest gain because farmer as provider of cocoa fruit, compared supermarket that have 34 because distributor of chocolate includes all promote cost and marketing.
Description: The fragment all promote cost is rare
flaws:
The conclusion is not good enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 10
No. of Words: 223 200
No. of Characters: 1105 1000
No. of Different Words: 124 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.864 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.955 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.655 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 83 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.076 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.267 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.389 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4