IELTS Writing Task 1 Changes in percentage of population in urban areas IELTS Trainer

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IELTS Writing Task 1: Changes in percentage of population in urban areas
(IELTS Trainer)

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Here is my essay, please give me some feedback to help me improve myself :D thank you so much.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of urban population in six regions of the world in 1950, 2007 and 2050. Overall, as can be seen from the chart more people recently moved from rural to urban living, which seems to be an indication that urba...

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Average: 9.5 (12 votes)
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flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4

better to put in 4 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion

sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 10
No. of Words: 186 200
No. of Characters: 881 1000
No. of Different Words: 116 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.693 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.737 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 39 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.371 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.167 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.484 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.748 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4