In many countries television shows many foreign made programs The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In many countries television shows many foreign-made programs. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children would rather enjoy pleasuring electronic media that provide new overseas channels in some countries. The channels become famous to the community as trend for them these countries. However, it stimulates for advancement of local stations.

Media, electronic media such as television (TV), is mainly part of children since it could manipulate children with networks. There are many frequencies with different aims and targets, but interest stations are promoted to other countries showing quality networks of a country. Cartoons of Japan are commonly programs that scattered in the world and even able to force children of countries. For instance, Doraemon is serial cartoon of Japan that popular in Indonesia because it is waited by children on the weekend. Although it begins early morning, children attempt for not leaving the channel. It is recommended by parents for their children because it prepares high imagination for children`s brain advancement. The children would share about the story to their friends although they also watched it, but it is never boring topic. Some of them even imitate Nobita with glasses, short pant and yellow T-Shirt in daily.

On the contrary, children are not quite respecting for their local cartoon. At the past, Si Unyil dan Pak Raden is famous children program in Indonesia but it is different now. Nowadays, if children asked about Si Unyil dan Pak Raden, most of them must not know about it. It is for children prefer to select cartoons from other country that have superior animation and sound. According to surveys of favorite children` channels, it proves that the majority of the networks are chosen by children are from other countries networks about 89%. The figure inspires local stations enhancing grade of new programs which it produces many benefits such as world-wide experience and finance.

In brief, external programs influence most of children in their daily schedule. Otherwise, it accords benefits for progress of local stations.

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Average: 7.5 (4 votes)
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Sentence: Cartoons of Japan are commonly programs that scattered in the world and even able to force children of countries.
Description: The fragment are commonly programs is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace commonly with adjective

Sentence: It is recommended by parents for their children because it prepares high imagination for childrens brain advancement.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children's

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
Sentence Length SD: 4.702 7.5

This essay is a little out of topic. You are asked to talk generally about 'harmful to the cultures of these countries.' while you can use children TV programs as an example.

You still have grammar issues on sentences. You may read some gram books.

And you may read some essays by top users too:
http://www.testbig.com/users/sfaht1
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 317 350
No. of Characters: 1640 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.22 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.174 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.541 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.702 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.486 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5