The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams illustrate changes in Energy production in two different countries, in 1980 and 2010. In detail, the four charts show the proportion between categories units of generation.
First of all, about New Zealand trends it is clear how natural gas and petroleum sources reduced their impact, passing respectively from 30 and 11 units in 1980 to 2 in 2010. Meanwhile, the other two sources increased in the period, rising the number of total units generated in the country from 127 to 200. Precisely, hydro went up of almost 50%, from 30 to 46 units, whereas cool source climbed to 150 units from the initial 56, with a roughly increase of 300%.
In Germany, at opposite of New Zealand, it was nuclear power that mainly characterized the period with an increase of almost 800%. Because of this dramatic change, if in 1980 only 21% of total energy was produced by nuclear plants, the value climbed to roughly 70% in 2010. The source that suffered the most this increase were hydro and natural gas sources, which reduced from respectively 7and 28 units to only 2. At the same time, petroleum and coal remained steady around 28 and 25 units, decreasing anyway their incidence on total units generated because of nuclear source stunning growth.
In the end, it is clear that in New Zealand coal is the main source as nuclear is in Germany, with minor sources reduced at almost 25% of total units generated in 2010.
Sentence: In detail, the four charts show the proportion between categories units of generation.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to categories and units
Sentence: At the same time, petroleum and coal remained steady around 28 and 25 units, decreasing anyway their incidence on total units generated because of nuclear source stunning growth.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to source and stunning
flaws:
Be sensitive to use percent, for example:
In the end, it is clear that in New Zealand coal is the main source as nuclear is in Germany, with minor sources reduced at almost 25% of total units generated in 2010.
what doesn't it mean 25% in this sentence?
Conclusion should be general, like this:
Overall, it is clear by 2010 these two countries relied on different principal fuel sources: New Zealand relied on coal and Germany on nuclear power.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 245 200
No. of Characters: 1133 1000
No. of Different Words: 128 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.956 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.624 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.442 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.281 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.419 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.646 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4