Some people say that professional worker such as doctors, nurses, teachers make greater contribution and there for should be paid more than these sports and entertainments stars. To what’s extends do you agree.
A doctor, who we will meet when we get sick, is one example of professional workers. Everyone in the world needs their contributions. We can work if we are in healthy condition, but if we get sick, we can’t do anything. How if all people in the world get sick. It becomes a big problem for us. So that’s way we should pay them high salary. None the loss, today their contribution seems like only get petty. They only get low salary for their works in 24 hours. They are many reasons why we should pay them with high salary, such as they work with their high intellectual and knowledge. They also always contact with people who have diseases. It is high risk for their healthy. They work 24 hours in a day, must ready to be called or give consultation. Moreover, the teachers are getting condition as the same as the doctors. Their dedication is not balance with their salary. Probably regulation from our government should take responsibility for this problem.
However, sport and entertainment stars, without high intellectual and knowledge can get be paid high salary. They work for entertainment section, for not really always important or emergency things. We can see today how many the sport and entertainment stars have high salary. Most of them have higher salary than doctors and teachers. Probably it’s because of industry entertainments that paid them and there is no standard regulation.
In conclusion, I agree if professional workers should be paid more than sport and entertainment stars because their high dedication for our country. I hope the government should take new regulation for their wealthy.
A doctor, who we will meet when we get sick,
A doctor, whom we will meet when we get sick,
Sentence: They work 24 hours in a day, must ready to be called or give consultation.
Description: The word ready is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to ready
Sentence: However, sport and entertainment stars, without high intellectual and knowledge can get be paid high salary.
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to get and be
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.439 7.5
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 274 350
No. of Characters: 1308 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.069 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.704 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 81 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.439 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.397 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5