You are hereSome people think that children should learn how to compete but others think that children should be tought to coorporate co become more useful adults. Express some reasons to give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should learn how to compete but others think that children should be tought to coorporate co become more useful adults. Express some reasons to give your own opinion.


kama_141's picture

By kama_141 - Posted on 16 July 2013

Essay topic: 

Some people think that children should learn how to compete but others think that children should be tought to coorporate co become more useful adults. Express some reasons to give your own opinion.

This issue is a highly debatable, which is part children should understand more. This life as a contest or collaborate in order to become success member of citizen. In my opinion, both of them are necessary for children. However, there some part from youngster activity should need to compete and other parts should use corporate.

Competition is an essential for human life. Children should learn about for their examination or they join in singer solo competition. Become perfectly than the other people as an ambition to catch it. Moreover, children should get how to be good competitor, which fair and follow the rule as norm in this life. For instance, when they become adult and do some business they have to compete with the other executives to become successful.

In spite of that, there are several job in this life which is should cooperate because the basic of human character is socially, thus connected with the other people is an absolutely. For example, children get assignments in their study but their teacher divide into several groups. This condition be able to work together to finish it this duties.

There are some condition when a corporate and compete in the same time. These situations teach the children to professional in their job. For instance, when they play football or volleyball with their friends. In other sides they should corporate in their team to make a score and another side, they must compete with other teams even though they have companions in this team.

To put in a nutshell, I would like to write that children should get knowledge when they must compete and corporate. Both of them are significantly to understand.

Average: 5.5 (2 votes)
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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: Moreover, children should get how to be good competitor, which fair and follow the rule as norm in this life.
Description: The fragment which fair and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace fair with adverb

Sentence: In spite of that, there are several job in this life which is should cooperate because the basic of human character is socially, thus connected with the other people is an absolutely.
Description: The fragment is socially , is rare

Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace socially with adjective
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to is and should
Sentence: For example, children get assignments in their study but their teacher divide into several groups.
Description: The fragment teacher divide into is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace divide with verb, past participle

Sentence: This condition be able to work together to finish it this duties.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and duties

Sentence: Both of them are significantly to understand.
Description: The fragment are significantly to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace significantly with adjective

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

First step, correct those grammatical errors.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 280 350
No. of Characters: 1349 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.091 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.818 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.5 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.792 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

eddysuaib's picture

Om Kama', sebenarnya sudah bagus, tapi ada beberapa aturan grammar yang kita lewatkan, makanya belum bisa naik skor ta'..., write more and believe you can earn outstanding scores