Some say that because many people are living much longer the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Researches reveal that compared to previous years, nowadays people are more likely to live longer than they used to probably due to the fact that life conditions have become much better. Consequently, some people claim that, for older people governments must arise an opportunity to persist working by raising the age of retiring. I totally agree with this statement but before drawing a quick conclusion it needs to be discussed.

To begin with, as the technology penetrates into our lives, we become surrounded with innovative technologies which demands special abilities to use them. Undoubtedly, older generations find it difficult to keep up with the demands of the modern life. Moreover, as people get older they may have some health problems or become impatient, even sometimes forget something about their job which leads to dropping the effectiveness of work. Therefore, staying at work for longer time may result negatively both for them and society.

Nevertheless, in my opinion, we cannot completely deny benefits of it. Firstly, working at the certain work for the years helps to gain valuable experience in this area. Additionally, if we take into consideration some professions such as doctors and teachers, it must be acknowledged that the role of them is quite unquestionable, because we can benefit from their experience and knowledge.

Furthermore, from the psychological point of view, retiring earlier can affect older people negatively if they still consider themselves “in form”, to be more specific, staying at home and doing nothing can seems them very boring.

To sum it up, taking all the mentioned facts into account , I think there are still much information and more things to learn from older people, so they must be allowed to continue their work life.

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Sentence: Furthermore, from the psychological point of view, retiring earlier can affect older people negatively if they still consider themselves in form, to be more specific, staying at home and doing nothing can seems them very boring.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to can and seems

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Score: 7.0 out of 9
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.116 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.077 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.789 2.4
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.558 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.633 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
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