It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance for sport or music and others are not However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician Discuss both views and give

Essay topics:

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Human breed is the most versatile species on earth. Among humans, many claim that some people born with certain talents, which make them successfully & superior to others, while other bunch of people argue that every talent can be implant in a child, as a skill. Although, it’s a matter of hot debate, yet I firmly believe that human race is capable enough to develop any skill, provided they are willing to achieve that.

To begin with, many people inherit certain charactersticks from their parents, which provide an edge to them. To illustrate the fact, most of the time people inherit th...

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Hi

Please review the above essay. Along with your parameters please suggest on following:
(1) Spelling check
(2) Grammer check
(3) Format, structure & content of the essay according to IELTS
(4) I have used very simple language. Is it ok for IELTS if I target band 7.
(5) I have used example of specific people from India, is that ok?

Sentence: Human breed is the most versatile species on earth.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Among humans, many claim that some people born with certain talents, which make them successfully & superior to others, while other bunch of people argue that every talent can be implant in a child, as a skill.
Description: The fragment which make them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: Although, it's a matter of hot debate, yet I firmly believe that human race is capable enough to develop any skill, provided they are willing to achieve that.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a
Suggestion: Refer to it's and a
Description: The fragment , provided they is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provided with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: To begin with, many people inherit certain charactersticks from their parents, which provide an edge to them.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a comma
Suggestion: Refer to with and ,
Sentence: To illustrate the fact, most of the time people inherit their great voice from their parents.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: For example, Lucky Ali, a popular Indian singer, is the only son of his father, Mohammed Rafi.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: His father was a great singer.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: People conclude that Lucky Ali is a singer by birth.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: He had this talent from the very beginning of his childhood, but a few are aware that he, indeed, put a lot of efforts to achieve that place in industry.
Description: The fragment aware that he is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: In addition, a universal fact Practise makes a man perfect always stands true.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to man and perfect
Sentence: There are evidence from both history as well as present, which support the fact.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Alexander the great is a true example.
Description: The tag a noun, singular, proper is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to Alexander and the

Sentence: His ancestors never imagined to get victory out of their boundaries, but he proved that hard work & strong determination could lead you to achieve anything you desire.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Furthermore, Sachin Tendulkar, one of the most successful & popular cricketer, is another example to support the fact.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Not a single person from his family & ancestors ever played cricket, but with strong determination, he joined Indian cricket team in a record age of seventeen.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: It was just a beginning for his carrer & never turned back.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Last but not the least, people might got directions, being talented, but still they need to learn & do hardship to make it their strength, to achieve their goals.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to might and got
Sentence: Lata Mangeshkar & Asha Bhosle are the best example to demonstrate this fact.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: They are real sisters & a well known name in music industry of India.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: On one side Lata Mangeshkar was blessed with a beautiful voice by birth, while Asha was not as good as Lata, in her childhood.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Lata Mangeshkar, has been awarded as Koyal cuckoo of India.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: On the other hand Asha, due to lack of in born talent, was not considered as a choice of good singer.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to of and in
Description: The word born is not usually used as an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to born , did you mean borne
Sentence: But Asha perform a lot of hard-work, practice & trainings & finally become a singing star.
Description: The fragment Asha perform a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace perform with verb, past tense
Sentence: It proves that even if you do not have talent you can still have skills.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: To summarize all, I agree to the fact that in born talent might provide an edge to develop a skill, but nothing is there which can not be achieved by practice & hard work.
Description: The word born is not usually used as an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to born , did you mean borne
Sentence: Human breed is the most versatile species on earth.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Among humans, many claim that some people born with certain talents, which make them successfully & superior to others, while other bunch of people argue that every talent can be implant in a child, as a skill.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Although, it's a matter of hot debate, yet I firmly believe that human race is capable enough to develop any skill, provided they are willing to achieve that.
No spelling errors
Sentence: To begin with, many people inherit certain charactersticks from their parents, which provide an edge to them.
Error: charactersticks Suggestion: characteristics
Sentence: To illustrate the fact, most of the time people inherit their great voice from their parents.
No spelling errors
Sentence: For example, Lucky Ali, a popular Indian singer, is the only son of his father, Mohammed Rafi.
No spelling errors
Sentence: His father was a great singer.
No spelling errors
Sentence: People conclude that Lucky Ali is a singer by birth.
No spelling errors
Sentence: He had this talent from the very beginning of his childhood, but a few are aware that he, indeed, put a lot of efforts to achieve that place in industry.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In addition, a universal fact Practise makes a man perfect always stands true.
No spelling errors
Sentence: There are evidence from both history as well as present, which support the fact.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Alexander the great is a true example.
No spelling errors
Sentence: He, as a consequence of his strong will, conquered almost whole world.
No spelling errors
Sentence: His ancestors never imagined to get victory out of their boundaries, but he proved that hard work & strong determination could lead you to achieve anything you desire.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Furthermore, Sachin Tendulkar, one of the most successful & popular cricketer, is another example to support the fact.
Error: cricketer Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Not a single person from his family & ancestors ever played cricket, but with strong determination, he joined Indian cricket team in a record age of seventeen.
No spelling errors
Sentence: It was just a beginning for his carrer & never turned back.
Error: carrer Suggestion: carrier
Sentence: Last but not the least, people might got directions, being talented, but still they need to learn & do hardship to make it their strength, to achieve their goals.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Lata Mangeshkar & Asha Bhosle are the best example to demonstrate this fact.
No spelling errors
Sentence: They are real sisters & a well known name in music industry of India.
No spelling errors
Sentence: On one side Lata Mangeshkar was blessed with a beautiful voice by birth, while Asha was not as good as Lata, in her childhood.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Lata Mangeshkar, has been awarded as Koyal cuckoo of India.
No spelling errors
Sentence: On the other hand Asha, due to lack of in born talent, was not considered as a choice of good singer.
No spelling errors
Sentence: But Asha perform a lot of hard-work, practice & trainings & finally become a singing star.
Error: hard-work Suggestion: hard work
Sentence: It proves that even if you do not have talent you can still have skills.
No spelling errors
Sentence: To summarize all, I agree to the fact that in born talent might provide an edge to develop a skill, but nothing is there which can not be achieved by practice & hard work.
No spelling errors
No. of Spelling Errors: 4
No. of Words: 466
No. of Different Words: 243
Average Word Length: 4.545
Word Length SD: 2.357
No. of Characters: 2118
Average Sentence Length: 17.923
Sentence Length SD: 8.264
Use of Passive Voice: 0
Use of Discourse Markers: 0.615
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.253
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.453
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 13 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2118 1500
No. of Different Words: 243 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.545 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.357 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.264 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.253 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.453 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
3cc8416be6f94bf7380db2cb30a54ae8348e06c1
Many students are are obliged to share accommodation with another student while in college. Sharing may seem awkward at first, but it may prove to be a very good experience. In this essay, the benefits and disadvantages of living with a roommate will be discussed, as well as the qualities needed in a good roommate. If you have never shared with som

Hi

I am very very happy to got so much qualitative comments. When I start preparing for my IELTS, I had never imagined that I can get such a good reviewers.
Thanks a lot for your time & review. It is very helpful & motivating.

I am not sure weather this the is the right forum to ask further questions, but still I am asking for the first time.
(1) About error "To begin with, "
I used comma & got error but I found in many texts that they use it this way. Is there any replacement for the this text?
(2) I got the error about the usage of word "will" many times. Could you please suggest a replacement for this word, as I searched a lot but can't figure it out.

for (1) About "To begin with, ", there is nothing wrong with "To begin with". it is for a preposition that is not usually followed by a comma, but seems we have got used to it in daily life.

regarding to 'will'. it is used correct here. we have removed that message. Sorry for the mistake.

relatively, you have less mistakes than others and write essays pretty well. Just remember don't pay too much attention on gram and spelling too much. this is not your problem. pay great attention on those areas when writing an essay : Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource. (even though these are not problem either).

Sentence: Human breed is the most versatile species on earth.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Among humans, many claim that some people born with certain talents, which make them successfully & superior to others, while other bunch of people argue that every talent can be implant in a child, as a skill.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Although, it's a matter of hot debate, yet I firmly believe that human race is capable enough to develop any skill, provided they are willing to achieve that.
No spelling errors
Sentence: To begin with, many people inherit certain charactersticks from their parents, which provide an edge to them.
Error: charactersticks Suggestion: characteristics
Sentence: To illustrate the fact, most of the time people inherit their great voice from their parents.
No spelling errors
Sentence: For example, Lucky Ali, a popular Indian singer, is the only son of his father, Mohammed Rafi.
No spelling errors
Sentence: His father was a great singer.
No spelling errors
Sentence: People conclude that Lucky Ali is a singer by birth.
No spelling errors
Sentence: He had this talent from the very beginning of his childhood, but a few are aware that he, indeed, put a lot of efforts to achieve that place in industry.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In addition, a universal fact Practise makes a man perfect always stands true.
No spelling errors
Sentence: There are evidence from both history as well as present, which support the fact.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Alexander the great is a true example.
No spelling errors
Sentence: He, as a consequence of his strong will, conquered almost whole world.
No spelling errors
Sentence: His ancestors never imagined to get victory out of their boundaries, but he proved that hard work & strong determination could lead you to achieve anything you desire.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Furthermore, Sachin Tendulkar, one of the most successful & popular cricketer, is another example to support the fact.
Error: cricketer Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Not a single person from his family & ancestors ever played cricket, but with strong determination, he joined Indian cricket team in a record age of seventeen.
No spelling errors
Sentence: It was just a beginning for his carrer & never turned back.
Error: carrer Suggestion: carrier
Sentence: Last but not the least, people might got directions, being talented, but still they need to learn & do hardship to make it their strength, to achieve their goals.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Lata Mangeshkar & Asha Bhosle are the best example to demonstrate this fact.
No spelling errors
Sentence: They are real sisters & a well known name in music industry of India.
No spelling errors
Sentence: On one side Lata Mangeshkar was blessed with a beautiful voice by birth, while Asha was not as good as Lata, in her childhood.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Lata Mangeshkar, has been awarded as Koyal cuckoo of India.
No spelling errors
Sentence: On the other hand Asha, due to lack of in born talent, was not considered as a choice of good singer.
No spelling errors
Sentence: But Asha perform a lot of hard-work, practice & trainings & finally become a singing star.
Error: hard-work Suggestion: hard work
Sentence: It proves that even if you do not have talent you can still have skills.
No spelling errors
Sentence: To summarize all, I agree to the fact that in born talent might provide an edge to develop a skill, but nothing is there which can not be achieved by practice & hard work.
No spelling errors

for (3) Format, structure & content of the essay according to IELTS.
A: there is no problem

for (4) I have used very simple language. Is it ok for IELTS if I target band 7.
A: yes, it is very good, doesn't need to make it complicated. most important is that you should be logically correct and with a dedicated language. your essay will be around 7.5 - 8.0 in IELTS i think.

for (5) I have used example of specific people from India, is that ok?
A: for my experience, it is better not mention so specificly the country or where are you from. it is good to use the general examples like the Alexander.