task 1: The maps show changes that took place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25 year period from 1980 to 2005. What is the most noticeable difference between the two maps?
The Two maps present landscape of Youngsville in New Zealand in 1980 and 2005. This essay descripts the changes which occur over 25 years.
In overview, Youngsville is divided into northern and southern parts by the river called Alahna which connect to the vast water surface along the rightest side of the maps. Regarding the north side, in 1980, there were a hospital, big pool surrounded by trees, and row of house located from north to south, on the left side, centre, and right side of the map, respectively. After 25 years past, the changes occurred on many areas. Firstly, almost trees were knocked down in order to make way for golf club, park, and car parks. Furthermore, dwelling were destructed and replaced by football stadium and railway which located next to the vast water area. That is to say this railway extended from railway station and former line in southern part.
For the lower are of the maps, there were considerable transformation in every parts but school on top-left side and airport on bottom-left side. All trees ever spread around area, wood on the bottom-side of the town, and resident area on the north and right side were removed. All of destruction given way to the ware house on the center which surrounded by many factories, and, skyscrapers next to the left side of railway line which mentioned.
In conclusion, the pattern of developments was the modernization process, and, this process leads to deforestation and deconstruction of rural buildings.
(Question from 'Inmprove your IELTS Writting Skill', Ielts Institute, Thailand)
by the river called Alahna which connect to the vast
by the river called Alahna which connects to the vast
Sentence: After 25 years past, the changes occurred on many areas.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to years and past
All of destruction given way to the ware house on the center which surrounded by many factories, and, skyscrapers next to the left side of railway line which mentioned.
All of destruction was given way to the ware house on the center which was surrounded by many factories, and, skyscrapers are next to the left side of railway line which was mentioned.
Suggestion: don't forget verbs in a sentence
Sentence: This essay descripts the changes which occur over 25 years.
Error: descripts Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 250 200
No. of Characters: 1202 1000
No. of Different Words: 137 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.976 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.808 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 68 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.636 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4