You are going to study in a college in the UK next year You would like to stay in a college Hall of Residence Write a letter to the college giving your accomodation requirements You should outline what your room and food needs are and also ask what altern

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You are going to study in a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in a college Hall of Residence.

Write a letter to the college giving your accomodation requirements. You should outline what your room and food needs are and also ask what alternatives are available if they cannot provide what you want.

Submitted by Umb221 on Wed, 05/22/2013 - 14:38

Dear Sir,

I am writing to ask you information about the conditions of accomodation in the Hall of Residence. I am going to study in your College next year, so I am planning my College life in detail before the lesson begin, in September.

I am not very well informed about the general conditions of the accommodation you provide for College students of the first year, therefore I point the characteristics I would like to find once at Dumbledore College. I would appreciate the possibility of a double room, considering I don’t like to stay alone in my room while studying and sleeping. To have a companion is very important to me, indeed. The ideal condition to me would be to have a mate and the chance of cooking meals, from time to time, so to getting knowing each other and to become a supportive team. Speaking of food, I guess that it would be a perfect to have a full board, with meals served in a kind of dining hall where all the students can meet.

If such an accommodation is not available, it would be very kind of you to advice me about eventual alternatives, either in the Hall of Residence or in the near Town of Portsmouth.

I look forward to hearing from you
Yours faithfully

Ron Hearthsley

Votes
Average: 8 (6 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: I am going to study in your College next year, so I am planning my College life in detail before the lesson begin, in September.
Description: The fragment lesson begin , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace begin with verb, past tense

Sentence: I am writing to ask you information about the conditions of accomodation in the Hall of Residence.
Error: accomodation Suggestion: accommodation

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 216 200
No. of Characters: 930 1000
No. of Different Words: 119 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.834 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.306 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.784 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 54 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.944 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.437 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.677 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.225 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4