You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations.
Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?
Give reasons for your answer.
Write at least 250 words.
Irresolution conflict between desires of people who interest secret life of public person, and the latter side who pray for right of privacy triggered pending debate. There are argument propose that society should separate private sphere of famous person out of public attention, and magazine or newspaper should has manner to not break the line. However, I don’t agree with this opinion because of three reasons.
The first reason, if we accept that reputation and charisma of big figures in public power, which probably use for persuading normal people believing their ideas or following their paths, it is undeniable that reveal daily life of public person is one way to reveal real personal traits of them. The information will allow people to make choice whether they will believe or follow them or not. For example, revealing cheated affair or did flip-flop behavior of famous person help people question when them require donate money for charity or turn to be representative candidate in a field of election. In other words, like some scholar said, gossip is one of the most powerful instruments for powerless people to deal with big person.
The following reason, famous people who not prefer to stand in public spotlight all day and all night have a choice to hiding from public eyes even they cannot avoid it totally. There are some case studies that actors or royal family members can cope with situation when they aware media invade their personal life too much. British royal family, for instance, chose to reduce degree of pop appearance in last decade after Diana’s tragedy.
For the last reason, losing peaceful life is cost for becoming public person. Moreover, some famous people appreciate to be stalked by public eyes because it is direct way to increase popularity. For example, pop star who want to sell their life style or politician who wants to show image of family man, but he cannot say or show it to public directly.
As far as I concern that there are probabilities that media may cross appropriate line of manner or present untrue story, but after weight good and bad side of banning news and magazine follow daily life of public figure, I think it is too much radical method and no valid reason enough to implement it. Thus, I prefer to let journalist and paparazzi do what they ever did.
Sentence: Irresolution conflict between desires of people who interest secret life of public person, and the latter side who pray for right of privacy triggered pending debate.
Description: The word interest is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: people who are interested in secret life
Sentence: There are argument propose that society should separate private sphere of famous person out of public attention, and magazine or newspaper should has manner to not break the line.
Description: The fragment argument propose that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace propose with verb, past tense
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
should has manner
should have manner
famous people who not prefer to stand in public spotlight
famous people who do not prefer to stand in public spotlight
Sentence: There are some case studies that actors or royal family members can cope with situation when they aware media invade their personal life too much.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to they and aware
Sentence: For the last reason, losing peaceful life is cost for becoming public person.
Description: The word cost is not usually used as a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to cost
Sentence: As far as I concern that there are probabilities that media may cross appropriate line of manner or present untrue story, but after weight good and bad side of banning news and magazine follow daily life of public figure, I think it is too much radical method and no valid reason enough to implement it.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to weight and good
flaws:
Still have great grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.
Maybe this one: http://www.testbig.com/question/grammar
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1887 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.765 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.321 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.306 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.585 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5