Given is the bar chart which illustrates the donation rates of UK citizens in different age groups between 1990 and 2010.
Overall, the 36-65 age groups were the groups that donate the most in this two years information, while the 18-25s always contributed the least. Across the two years, the patterns of the donation rates in aged 18-50 groups were different than that the patterns of donation in the 51-65 and over age groups.
To begin with, in 1990, the highest charitable donation was among British who are 36 to 50 years old with 42%. The second and the third ranks were the 51-65s and over 65 age groups as they were 35% and 32%. In addition, in both years, the levels of donation in the 18-25s was always lower than other groups as the highest number was not higher than 18 percent, while 24 percent was the lowest figure in other aged groups.
However, in 2010, 39% of the 51-65 year old gave their money to charity which was also the highest rate compared to other aged groups. The figure of charitable donation in British population who are 36 to 50 years old had identical number with the over 56s group at 35% which was the second rank in this year. Moreover, across the two years, the patterns of younger 50 years old decreased by average 8%, except the 51-65 and over 65 groups decreased by approximately 4%.
flaws:
You didn't develop sentences smoothly, like:
in this two years information
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/chart-below-gives-in…
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The best strategy to practice IELTS writing task I:
Step 1, Take about 10 minutes to read one essay by one of the following users:
http://testbig.com/users/dilbar
http://www.testbig.com/users/mrmo2610
http://www.testbig.com/users/xthangbm
or any other sample essays.
in this step, try to analyze how they develop essays, and even try to remember the words, phrases, and sentences they used in the essays.
Step 2, Write the essay in 20 minutes by your own. In this step, don't read the sample essay, but you can apply whatever you can remember from the sample essay to your essays, like words, phrases, and sentences. (It is not shameful at all)
Step 3, Submit the essay to testbig to check out. After the essay submission, you can read the sample essay again and compare. You will understand the differences between the sample essays and your essays.
Step 4, After received the feedback from testbig, double check the flaws of the essay like grammar, structure issues. So don't repeat those issues in the future essays.
Step 5, Try to apply the tips you learned from this sample essay to the next one.
Step 6, Continue the step 1 to step 5 and you will find out the big improvement.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 239 200
No. of Characters: 1054 1000
No. of Different Words: 108 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.932 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.41 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.191 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 25 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.928 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.474 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.695 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4