The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Essay topics:

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The line graph illustrates the number of viewers to Music Choice and Pop Parade on the internet in fifteen days period.

It is noticeable that people more interesting to view Pop Parade on between both of new music sites on the internet in around period. While, the fans of Music Choice increased sharply in the twelfth until fourteenth days.

A closer look at the data reveals in the first day the just under 12,000 people visited Pop Parade site, compared to only 4,000 people chose Music Choice from first day to the middle period. Music lovers on Pop Parade declined gradually. By contrast, visitors of music choice on the web remained reasonably steady.

In ninth days, pop parade increased gradual rebound to approximately 150,000 people. Thereafter, viewers on Music Choice site raised dramatically around 120,000 fans in 11th days. A furthermore, in the end period the highest of new visitors was Pop Parade, it had around 170,000 enthusiast. However, Music Choice dropped steadily to just above 70,000 people.

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Average: 7.7 (3 votes)

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in fifteen days period.
in a period in fifteen days .

that people more interesting to view
that people are more interesting to view

in the first day the just under 12,000 people
in the first day just less than 12,000 people

pop parade increased gradual rebound to approximately 150,000 people
pop parade increased gradually and rebounded to approximately 150,000 people

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 168 200
No. of Characters: 830 1000
No. of Different Words: 97 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.6 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.94 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.434 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 70 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 22 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.808 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.457 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.643 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4