The graph below shows the changes in food consumption by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The line chart illustrated information of food consumption in China with three different foodstuffs (meat, salt , fish) between 1985 and 2010. In general, China people more consumed fish than both salt or fish in average per grams per person per week.
It can be seen from graph, there was a steady fish consumption between 1985 and 1995 at average 600 grams although in 1990 it rose to 700 grams. Furthermore, the trend of fish consumption gradually increased from 600 grams to above 800 grams between 1995 and 2010.
In contrast, there was a consistent dropped in salt consumption. The amount consumed salt decreased from average 500 grams per person reached only 200 grams per person by 2010. Meanwhile meat consumption started from average 100 grams per person and it then climbed slowly reached same amount with salt consumption in 2010.
Overall, the consumption of fish rose, while the consumption of salt fell. In addition, the consumption of meat, while at a relatively low level, rose significantly during this period
Comments
Thanks you Sir for your
Thanks you Sir for your assestment of my Essay.
Before hand, I write this task with no pattern and I get only score 6 of 9. But after I read writing ielts material that there is pattern for good writing : Introduction, General trend, Description and Conclusion, and praise to Lord my score grow 0.5 become 6.5
If I want to grow my score until reach minimun 7, what must I do in my essay ? Thanks for your advice
warm regard
Burhan
You still have grammatical
You still have grammatical issues. You may read a good grammar book.
There is no problem for the structure of the essay.
China people more consumed fish than both salt or fish
Chinese people consumed more fish than salt and meat both
there was a consistent dropped in salt consumption.
there was a consistent drop in salt consumption.
The amount consumed salt decreased from
The amount of consumed salt decreased from
and it then climbed slowly reached same amount with salt
and it then climbed slowly and reached same amount with salt
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 169 200
No. of Characters: 834 1000
No. of Different Words: 88 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.606 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.935 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 51 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 40 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.116 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.499 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.758 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.22 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4