The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Essay topics:

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The line graph illustrates the statistical data about percentage of work force in United State and Japan in March 1993 - March 1999 periods. The most prominent feature is United State which was higher unemployment population than contrast by Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

In March 1993, United State had 7.0 percentage of work force while Japan had 2.5 percentage. US declined slightly until March 1995 and increased slightly approximate 0.5 percentage in March 1995 until March 1996. After that, US dropped slightly constant until March 1999. Whereas, Japan rose fluctuatively between March 1998 and March 1999. Japan had around 5.2 percentage of work force and less overtook US in March 1998-March 1999 while Japan declined slightly and had around 0.1 percentage different with US in March 1999.

To sum up, the given data indicates the unemployment rates in United State and Japan between March 1993-March 1999 period is US provide places for people to work increasingly.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (2 votes)

Comments

The most prominent feature is United State which was higher unemployment population than contrast by Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
The most prominent feature is that United State which has higher unemployment population than that in Japan.

Sentence: Japan had around 5.2 percentage of work force and less overtook US in March 1998-March 1999 while Japan declined slightly and had around 0.1 percentage different with US in March 1999.
Description: The word less is not usually used as an adverb, comparative
Suggestion: Refer to less
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to percentage and different

Sentence: Whereas, Japan rose fluctuatively between March 1998 and March 1999.
Error: rose Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: fluctuatively Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
wrong conclusion:
'To sum up, the given data indicates the unemployment rates in United State and Japan between March 1993-March 1999 period is US provide places for people to work increasingly.'

you always talked about it at the introduction: 'The line graph illustrates the statistical data about percentage of work force in United State and Japan in March 1993 - March 1999 periods.'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 158 200
No. of Characters: 813 1000
No. of Different Words: 78 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.545 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.146 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.565 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 47 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 37 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.546 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.599 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.735 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.4 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4