The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland Link https www ielts exam net academic writing samples task 1 104 This is an IELTS Task 1 please help me correct it

Essay topics:

The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland.
Link : https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/104/
This is an IELTS Task 1 -please help me correct it .

The table given illustrates the amount of time that individuals in distinct age groups spent on leisure activities in Someland.
It is obvious that watching TV or videos was the most favourite leisure activity among age groups while the opposite was true of cinema.
As can be seen from the table provided that statistic of watching TV or videos of teens was highest with 1200 hours, the figure for 70 years old and over was slightly lower, with 1,100 hours. The lowest amount went on 30 year old people with just 400 hours. There were 300 hours being spent on socialising with 4 or less people in the 30 aged group, which was 50 hours larger than the fourties and fifties' statistics and 100 hours higher compared to the number of the two last age groups. The statistic of leisure time spent on socialising with 4 or more people by teens and people in their twenties were largest compared to the other age groups, with 350 hours a year, which was also 7 times higher than those in their thirties and fourties.
Regarding the table, in the individual excercise section, the figure for 30 and 40 age groups were accounted for 200 hours, which was the largest amount compared to the other age groups. Both group excercise or sports and cinema 's statistics shared a similar tendency that decreased when people got older.

Votes
Average: 7.7 (32 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 316, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...rs being spent on socialising with 4 or less people in the 30 aged group, which was ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, regarding, so, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 7.0 186% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 1.00243902439 100% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 6.8 176% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 3.15609756098 253% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 8.0 5.60731707317 143% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 31.0 33.7804878049 92% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.97073170732 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1087.0 965.302439024 113% => OK
No of words: 233.0 196.424390244 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6652360515 4.92477711251 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.90696013833 3.73543355544 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32334369283 2.65546596893 87% => OK
Unique words: 125.0 106.607317073 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536480686695 0.547539520022 98% => OK
syllable_count: 312.3 283.868780488 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.45097560976 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.33902439024 115% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 3.36585365854 119% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 8.94146341463 89% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.4926829268 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 58.6893303761 43.030603864 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.875 112.824112599 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.125 22.9334400587 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.75 5.23603664747 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 1.69756097561 59% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.13902439024 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.09268292683 73% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152953465468 0.215688989381 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.082507052563 0.103423049105 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0600619805243 0.0843802449381 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112936633324 0.15604864568 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0568216522538 0.0819641961636 69% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 13.2329268293 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 67.42 61.2550243902 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.3012195122 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.4 11.4140731707 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.06136585366 99% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 40.7170731707 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.4329268293 96% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.9970731707 124% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.0658536585 99% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.