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Some people think placing advertisements in schools is a great resource for public schools that need additionally funding, but others think it exploits children by treating them as a captive audience for corporate sponsors.Choose which position you most a

Essay topics: Some people think placing advertisements in schools is a great resource for public schools that need additionally funding, but others think it exploits children by treating them as a captive audience for corporate sponsors.
Choose which position you most agree with and discuss why you chose that position. Support your point of view with details from your own experiences, observations or reading.

swati.vekariya's picture

Nowadays, if you can not advertise your product well, you can not get business no matter how good quality product or service you are providing. Some business chooses children of the public school as an audience in return for the sponsorship to the management. Some people argue that this kind of funds can help public institutes to manage facilities for the children, however, others feel that it can exploit them. In following paragraphs I would discuss both views and conclude with what I feel

To start with, education has also become an industry and public organization who lack the funds, try to survive in this competitive world. They don't have enough resources to cater to the need of the students and faculties. Sometimes, they lose good teacher due to less salary. In such adverse situation, any kind of financial assistance can help them to manage to give free or cost effective education to needy ones.

On the other hand, opponents of this concept feel that advertisement can exploit children and this can cause further burden on parents. For instance, sometimes advertisements are created to magnify the features which are not important or can hide the consequences of using the product. The representation looks appealing to the children, and they can ask their parents to get them without thinking the usage or cost. For example, influenced by an advertisement of the pen with lights, a child can force their parents to get them no matter what the price is.

To conclude, although public institutions get helping aid from business tycoons for commercialization, wrong representation exploit novice and can cause problems for their parents. To avoid this, the government can release some guidelines for them to follow before advertising in the schools.

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Extensive reading & listening: - reading & listening can help essay writing
Intensive IELTS reading & listening from Cambridge:

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...survive in this competitive world. They dont have enough resources to cater to the n...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, look, so, well, for example, for instance, i feel, kind of, to start with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.48453608247 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 4.92783505155 284% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 5.05154639175 198% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.03092783505 165% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 32.9175257732 79% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 26.3917525773 144% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 3.85567010309 363% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1486.0 937.175257732 159% => OK
No of words: 290.0 206.0 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12413793103 4.54256449028 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 3.78020617076 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87678807551 2.54303337028 113% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 127.690721649 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.58275862069 0.622605031667 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 452.7 290.88556701 156% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.13402061856 33% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.360824742268 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 0.824742268041 364% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 1.44329896907 416% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 12.6804123711 103% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 16.3608247423 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 39.8891956424 44.8134815571 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.307692308 76.5299724578 149% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3076923077 16.8248392259 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.53846153846 4.34317383033 197% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 7.41237113402 40% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 1.49484536082 468% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.94845360825 76% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250309156343 0.216113520407 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.096420154464 0.0766984524023 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0741672670034 0.0603063233224 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15328940637 0.12726935374 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0703265035613 0.0580467560999 121% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 8.37731958763 165% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 70.7449484536 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 7.45979381443 160% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 8.71597938144 146% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 7.59969072165 112% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 41.2886597938 167% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 8.62886597938 162% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 8.54432989691 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 8.15463917526 172% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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