Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Essay topics:

Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People have differing views with regard to the question whether or not governments are responsible for giving support to senior citizens. Although I accept that we all are supposed to save money for our retirement, I disagree with the idea that elderly people should not receive any support from the state.

To begin with, there are a considerable number of older people who need special care. The absence of offspring of older people, due to busy work, has led to many elders being left alone to look after themselves. Many of them find it difficult to go shopping, cook for themselves, and a range of other housework. Thus, government should send qualified people who are able to do housework for them. Considering the contribution made by older people to the development of society when they were younger, this support is justified.

In addition, not all of older people saved adequate financial resources for themselves. The rising cost of living has put more pressure on them to pay for their basic necessities which are becoming more expensive. Also, the job market is increasing competitive and they are less likely to win the job competition over younger people who are well-prepared for the post. At the same time, the amount of saving may not be enough to pay for housing, bills, healthcare and food. The quality of their lives will deteriorate if governments continue to disregard this social matter.

For the reasons mentioned above, I believe our taxes should be allocated to supporting older people because they are fragile and disadvantaged in getting jobs.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)

Comments

Many of them find it difficult to go shopping, cook for themselves, and a range of other housework.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

the job market is increasing competitive
the job market is increasingly competitive

government should send qualified people who are able to do housework for them.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 4.912 7.5 //"Sentence Length SD is low" means that the essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentences varieties wanted.

The absence of offspring of older people,
Description: don't put two 'of' in one sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 262 350
No. of Characters: 1281 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.023 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.889 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.671 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.912 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

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Many of them find it difficult to take care of themselves in situations like going shopping, cooking, and a range of other housework.