One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?
Todays world is likely advanced technology. So that medical cares also developed as well, which can influence to have longer life among people and enhance the life expectancy. From my view point that there are the major benefits to drawbacks. In further paragraphs I will explore some examples.
First of all, the much more improvement in medical cares, the more opportunities give people to live longer. That is to say, some people who are weak at reading or hearing things with their eyes or ears, can be treatment at state-of-the-art medical cares. A good example would be here that a person who has difficulty reading newspapers or books or watching things from less far distance, might wear contact lenses to show clearly. Therefore, although this kind of devices can bring tiredness for eyes, a member might see things as obviously as they can. This is because of recent medical care.
On the other hand, there is no doubt that there are those who said, when old people live longer, they usually would cause the burden for their families and even government. To specify, they could not create any value and have to take time to being looked after by members of their family. Unfortunately, We should have to know that older ages have enormous sources of knowledge and experience. What is more, the government should create specific care taker and takes accoount into discount paid for old people. As a result, take the government that advantage, it would generate great value.
To sum up, as far as I am concern that despite having less hardship using a kind of medical device or get old people taken cares, it will be the advantageous part of humanities for every country for the life expectancy
Comments
If I don't make any mistakes
If I don't make any mistakes (such as Grammatical, Spelling Errors), What would be my score?
Well, better to submit an
Well, better to submit an essay without any errors, so we can know exactly how is the performance.
Todays world is likely advanced technology
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
who are weaknesses at reading
who are weak at reading
can be treatment state-of-the-art medical cares.
can get treatment at state-of-the-art medical cares.
it will be the advantageous part of humanities every country
it will be the advantageous part of humanities for every country
Sentence: So that medical cares also devoleped as well, which can influence to have longer life among people and enhance the life expectancy.
Error: devoleped Suggestion: developed
Sentence: In further pharagraphs I will explore some examples.
Error: pharagraphs Suggestion: paragraphs
Sentence: First of all, the much more improvement in mdiacl cares, the more oppurtunities give people to live longer.
Error: mdiacl Suggestion: ?
Error: oppurtunities Suggestion: opportunities
Sentence: What is more, the government should create spesific care taker and takes acoount into discount paid for old people.
Error: acoount Suggestion: account
Error: spesific Suggestion: specific
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 291 350
No. of Characters: 1375 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.725 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.426 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.322 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5