Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create while others struggle to survive Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money as the main reasons of humans work. As per some expert, the artist can get much money by using their ability in art producing, while many think that attempt to collecting money in other ways. Moreover, others believe that Industrial Ministry should responsible for this problem. While I believe that this idea has pros and cons, I personally believe that assessable income is determined by the force of people to get it.

First, the artist is a job for some people that have an ability to make something and have the value of art. A 2014 Yahoo.com study pointed out that artist included in...

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Votes
Average: 8.6 (7 votes)

Comments

Money as the main reasons of humans work.
Description: this is not a complete sentence

Sentence: Moreover, others believe that Industrial Ministry should responsible for this problem.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to should and responsible

for some people that have an ability to make something
for some people who have an ability to make something

study pointed out that artist included in 20th high income in the world.
study pointed out that artist is included in the 20th high income in the world.

Leonardo da Vinci which make the Mona Lisa picture
Leonardo da Vinci who makes the Mona Lisa picture

and this picture turn up as well-known in 15th century, the price of this picture over than $100 million.
and this picture turned up as well-known in the 15th century with the price over $100 million.

Another common reasons
Another common reason
other common reasons

Sentence: Another common reasons, some persons have different occupation to get the cost and the minimum salary is depend on the Ministry regulation.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and depend

Sentence: A regulation from industrial Ministry in 2014 showed that the main salary of each provinces in Indonesian had different value between1,5-2,5 millions rupiah.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and provinces

Sentence: To summarize, people life need money so they try to get any job for get income, such as work as employee of the government or artist.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and life
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and get

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 358 350
No. of Characters: 1699 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.35 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.746 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.492 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.828 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5