Since wellness and money have become our Gods, society was divided into two different categories: those who follow this trend and believe that it is extremely important to earn a lot of money and be prestigious, and those who, whereas, disagree and keep the distance from this theory, believing more in the importance of an enjoyable job above salary.
If is true for the first category of people that reach a good job position and be well paid is fundamental at this time and age, however should be considered that most of the times, those who choose this kind of career, destroy themselves like individuals.
First of all, it happens very often to them to start a job they do not really like and more time passes, more they are stressed, frustrated and full of regrets thinking about how their life could be, if they have followed their dreams not just considering the salary.
Moreover, although they can be extremely wealthy, as is habitual to say, money don’t buy happiness and they will realize too late the biggest mistake they made: not to follow their passions.
In fact, those who prefer an enjoyable job choose a relaxing life and honestly they are a step forward since they can do what they love and working hard for what they like, they often obtain a good salary too but without regretting any of their decisions.
To conclude, in my opinion, does not worth to spend all our energies just to earn a lot of money but spending our lives sadly: what really counts is to love what we do, to obtain the same results but being satisfied of our lives.
If is true for the first category
It is true for the first category
more time passes, more they are stressed,
the more time passes, the more they are stressed,
does not worth to spend all our energies
it is not worth to spend all our energies
flaws:
Don't put one sentence as one paragraph.
Try this pattern to expand your ideas:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 15
No. of Words: 279 350
No. of Characters: 1246 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.087 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.466 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.281 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 74 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 54 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 46.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.61 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.471 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 1 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5