We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? Use specific details and examples in your answer.
In the modern era, computers have proliferated in every nook and cranny of the world by leaps and bounds, thereby over-dependence upon computers. Overall, this phenomenon has induced boon and bane simultaneously. This essay is to deal with the possible usage of the computers in the future and also it will establish that the merits of the aforementioned phenomenon outweigh its demerits.
Multifarious points could be put down behind the computer usage which has lain ahead. First and foremost, education system would be revolutionized by means of computers. To illustrate, traditional classes might take the back seat and online classes, which are mostly reliant on computers, would supersede other methods of learning. Apart from that, the way to which various countries fight with each other according, would be evolved dramatically. To specify, automatic pilots and contemporary weapons, which would be controlled by computers, could attenuate the role of troops. Hence, in the long run, computers may spread roots in all parts of humans’ life.
Furthermore, over-reliance upon computers could bring enormous benefits. Initially, under the influence of computers the pace of doing different jobs would rise considerably, and as a result, nations could flourish swiftly. Besides that, the presence of computers brings comfort for mankind in terms of decreasing physical duties, mechanized irrigation, for example. Consequently, humankind is blessed with the role of computers. However, computers bring about some handicaps as well.
To begin with, sedentary lifestyle is a concomitant result of modern life. To be more specific, today, white jobs are gaining ground owing to the presence of computers, and prodigious quantities of the folks are suffering from cardiovascular and respiratory diseases on account of the lack of physical activities. What is more, these days cybercrime is a matter of concern which jeopardizes the personal information of people. Therefore, computers could have some drawbacks, too.
To encapsulate, despite negatives, computers have enriched humans’ life with myriads of positives, and I hold the notion that the pros override the cons.
Comments
Thank you. Could you give me
Thank you. Could you give me your opinion about the following introduction? I tried to change it for the better.
"In the modern era, computers have proliferated in every nook and cranny of the world by leaps and bounds, thereby more dependency upon computers. Overall, this phenomenon has induced boon and bane simultaneously, but I believe that the merits outweigh the demerits. This essay deals with the possible computer usage in the future along with the pros and cons of the reliance upon computers."
Please let me know if something is wrong in the edited version of introduction.
You don't just simply
You don't just simply paraphrase the topic. It is not going to get a good mark. second, remove those transition phrases, they aren't used properly.
revised:
In the modern era, more dependencies upon computers have proliferated in every nook and cranny of the world by leaps and bounds. This phenomenon has induced boon and bane simultaneously while I believe that the merits outweigh the demerits. Possible computer usages in the future along with the pros and cons of the reliance upon computers will be discussed.
suggested:
In today’s world, the use of computers is ever-increasing in different areas such as medicine, business, law etc. It is agreed that the dependence on computers is a good thing. This will be proven by analyzing the rewarding features they have brought to us and will bring in the future.
I have another question. I
I have another question. I have seen that some people try not to use "I" or "my view" in their essays. Could you tell me that whether or not it is a right job? For instance, in my edited version of introduction, I used "I believe". Is it a negative point in my paragraph? I think I have to give my opinion in the introduction because the question asked me "Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits".
You don't need to use them
You don't need to use them since this is your essay and your ideas.
It is OK to use them once. It is very bad to use them over once.
flaws:
1. The introduction is not developed well. It could be very simple and straight forward.
2. You don't develop sentences smoothly. for example:
traditional classes might take the back seat and online classes, which are mostly reliant on computers, would supersede other methods of learning.
suggested:
traditional classes might take the back seat, while online classes which are mostly reliant on computers would supersede other methods of learning.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1784 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.406 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.944 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.962 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5